minimalist

How to keep being a minimalist as a new mom

February 22, 2021 by Meg Leave a Comment

Nearly 17 months into this parenting gig and I am here to tell you it is possible to keep being a minimalist with a kid. In the beginning I seriously struggled with the acceptance that we had to bring in more “clutter” into our home when I had spent the last few years trying to get it out! I think for the most part I have embraced the simple fact that now we have another human living in our home and so with that whole extra person comes the need for more stuff. It might feel like you have this overwhelming amount of stuff, but there are ways to keep the clutter down – and when I started writing this post, I realised these tips actually translate to anyone looking to start living a more minimalist lifestyle – not just for new moms!

Even if you don’t have a kid, you can still apply these practical tips to be on your way to minimalist living.

First, you need to accept that even as a minimalist, you still need stuff.

Sometimes we have to just accept where we are at – it’s not practical to throw out absolutely everything all in one go, trust me I have tried this way of bulk decluttering and all that you end up with is realising you threw something out that you might actually have use for down the line. So whilst you shouldn’t hoard things for the ‘we might use this later’ (looking at Rob when I type this) you can note things you haven’t used in forever and mark them mentally in a to-go pile without chucking it all out in the same moment you realise you have too much stuff. It’s the art of pausing, sitting with the feeling you want to purge and letting go when you are truly sure you no longer need it.

The same approach should be followed when you set up your home for a new baby. In the beginning you think that you need a lot of ‘what if’ stuff! Every parent will tell you how this one key piece of baby equipment was absolutely essential for them. But no matter what, no one is you and you won’t really know what works for you and your family until you are right in the thick of it. Trust me when I say that there will be loads of essential things you will impulse buy that you won’t ever end up fully using in the way you thought you would. I should probably write a follow up post on baby essentials for minimalists because we didn’t buy a whole heck of a lot and well look at that, we survived without all that extra clutter!

Equipment, Furniture, Big clunky (and pricey) stuff

Once you have accepted that in the beginning you will have a bit of clutter to manage, here’s another tip I can offer a new mom wanting to keep being a minimalist: you don’t need as much as you think you do. Write a list of all the baby must haves, and strip that back to essentials. There is always time to change your mind later and purchase that extra item once you realise you really need it. You can also follow these tips I have laid out below to help keep the clutter from piling up in your home. The fact is you will need somewhere for the baby to sleep, a way to transport the baby, clothe the baby, and feed the baby – all the rest is just frills.

Clothes: how to capsule wardrobe – the kid edition

Ok so my own capsule wardrobe was slightly expanded when my belly got to big, and then my body again after giving birth but after a settling in period, I managed to stick to my 30 clothing items for myself. It is impossible to keep the same minimal wardrobe for new born – but it does get easier the older they get! In the beginning you will need a few changes of clothes (insert poop emoji here) but a way to curb the clutter vibe in your day-day living space is to only put out the clothing in the size your baby is currently fits in and is wearing. This is just so that you are not looking at a huge wardrobe of clothes where half the outfits are in the next size up or for the next season. Try to keep what you see when you open up the drawer or shelf or cupboard as only the clothes your baby can where today, or right now. Another helpful tip for new moms is to organise and pack the rest of the outfits into separate bags for each size. Trust me it will be easier to manage and see what you do have, what you might need more of, and what your baby does actually ever wear. It also means that when your baby is ready to move to the next size; you simple pack up all the clothes you have out and can either store away to keep, donate, sell or even hand out to your friends or family having a new baby. A nice system of clearing out and decluttering as you go. I find we are able to actually get a lot more wear out of clothes because they are organised and I am able to see the outfits we wear a lot and the outfits she has hardly worn.

Toys – from baby to big kid

Toys and really the types of toys you bring into your home can really add to the clutter and FAST! We are really mindful and try to avoid plastic toys where we can – I went so far as to insist our family and friends not purchase us any toys (only books were allowed!). Although banning all plastic is really hard – one of Riley’s favourite toys is a giant ride on pink plastic car that my brother and SIL purchased her for her first birthday. I digress, my best tip to staying minimalist when it comes to toys for children is to simply outline your wishes to your family. We are not big on Birthday and Christmas gifts, we searched for a really special gift we wanted to gift our daughter and then shared those ideas with the family – a small, well thought out wishlist instead of an open free for all has really helped us curb the amount of stuff that seems to pile up when you start getting all these wonderful gifts from family and friends. Another great tip to keep toys to a minimum is to do a toy rotation. We have a small number of toys kept in a container upstairs in her room, and the rest of the toys are downstairs in the living room. This way we rotate the two sets every now and then so she plays with all the toys but all of them are not laid out in one go. What I have found is the age Riley is at now, she much prefers things you find around the house like car keys, cups, containers, a golf ball, a ziplock bag of clothes pegs , the remote for the TV – basically everything that is not an actual toy, so that helps us from feeling like we need to buy more toys when so much that is around her is entertaining at this age!

BONUS: Tips to limit the clutter in your home

Outlining the categories is all well and good but when it comes to actual tips to living minimally, I find these three tips absolutely essential in trying to limit the amount of clutter that comes into (and stays in) your home.

Borrow/ swop & pay it forward

Thankful for that brief time before lockdowns and heavy restrictions where I was able to connect with other new moms and mom support groups at our local library. I met a bunch of lovely women, some of who had kids slightly older than Riley so we formed a little borrow swop amongst ourselves and this is great for kids clothes that is hardly worn before they are outgrown and into the next size! We had a nice rotation of me collecting the sizes that their children had outgrown, using them for a few months and then I would pass on to the next mom with a child younger than mine! It’s the reason Riley has a shoe obsession at the moment, because I was able to get a bunch of shoes in various sizes from various moms with the intention that I will either return them once we have finished using them or passing them on – and back out of our house! One of my closest and dearest friend here has two much older kids, she actually leant me the stroller we use, the car seat and a cot – plus a whole heap of blankets, sleeping bags, jackets and coats and gorgeous knitted jumpers her own mum knitted. This saved us a whole ton of money but equally I know that once we no longer need to make use of these items, they will all be returned.

Charity Shops/ Free Cycle Facebook Groups

Kids’ stuff can get pricey – a good pair of shoes and a winter coat can sometimes cost the same price as adult sizes – and they only wear them for a season because by the next winter they will need a bigger size! Plus, if your kid is going to crèche, you need a set to leave at crèche – the costs and the stuff adds up… I have found some serious gems when it comes to baby stuff at our local charity shop. The hiking boots Riley currently wears are some fancy shmancy brand that retail for €50 brand new… I found them at the charity shop for €4! And the same goes for her winter coat! I like the idea of charity shops for buying essential items at a fraction of the price as we won’t use them for too long, and will either donate them back to be resold again or we will hand them down to the next little kid in our circle of friends. It might not be minimalist, but reducing buying brand new is a sustainable which is equally good to keep in mind.

Another great tip for kids and toys are free-cycle groups! I belong to my local freecycle group for my area and I have a good friend who is a lot more active on Facebook that I am, who tells me when something good is on offer. How freecycle groups works that people post items they no longer need, and you can simply arrange to collect those items – for free! I know of one friend who often finds such great toys on there, gives them a good scrub and even uses freecycle finds as gifts for Christmas – genuis idea! It goes back to that reduce, reuse, recycle – sustainably and more mindfully bring things into your home.

Regular spring cleaning

Keeping on top of what you have, what you still need and what you might need is a great way to keep the actual things you own down to essentials only – writing a list and dreaming about what you really want is a great minimalist way of living. If I think I really need something I like to think about it a lot before I actually go out and buy it. Often if I stop thinking about it, or I think about it long enough to realise I don’t need something, I save money and keep the clutter down by not impulsively purchasing something only to find that the need for it has passed. Regularly passing items on to the next family in need, or sending items back to the original lender, or donating to a local charity shop is key to keeping things from accumulating and sitting unused in a clutter wardrobe. If you are not using it, it might be better used by someone else. I try to declutter and clear out cupboards every month or so, the minute I get that sense of dread opening the cupboard and seeing clutter is when I know the clutter has become too much. And because I spring clean and declutter regularly, I feel better mentally but also I am well aware of what I have and what I don’t need more of – so that stops me from buying recklessly.

What is one thing you struggle to let go of as a minimalist? For me, it is perfection – in the past I tried to be the perfect minimalist but the fact is I am realising more that minimalism isn’t a destination, I know that I won’t reach a point where if I own only X amount of things I will become a minimalist. Minimalism to me is really about scaling down on what you own, but it is not about living a life of sacrificing or limiting to a certain number of things you own.

WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT WITH REGARDS TO MINIMALIST LIVING? LET ME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS AND I WILL WRITE ABOUT THAT NEXT!

Not traveling much these days, just living simply,

~Meg~

p.s I write about expat living in Ireland, minimalism and slow travel (when we can travel!). I aim to post 1 – 2 times a month, so to be sure you don’t miss out on the new post you should sign up and get all the news straight in your inbox – Sign up now!

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Visiting Kinvara in Ireland and living in a tiny house

February 26, 2018 by Meg 3 Comments

Our first time staying on the west coast of Ireland, and our first Airbnb! Rob and I were keen to see what the west coast had to offer, but were not so keen on staying in a busy city. Since we rented a car specifically for this trip, we thought it would be the best time to explore a smaller town, and really get a feel for Irish countryside. Kinvara did not disappoint.

Because we were traveling in winter, Kinvara as little country town, was very quiet – a lot of the restaurants were closed in the evenings. If you want to travel around Ireland in winter, it is important to remember that a lot of tourist spots are closed or have winter opening times. Read this post I wrote about the benefits of visiting the west coast of Ireland in winter.

We really just wanted to get away (with our dog) and just road trip around Ireland a little bit. We didn’t have much in the way of a bucket list of things we wanted to see, but rather the main goal was to unwind and relax. For us, Kinvara is the perfect place to just chill out. We did a few walks as a little family (Jack included) and took some time to just sit and read and drink wine too. It was the perfect amount of explore and recharge.

We found a great little Airbnb that has gone almost 100% off-grid, with a wood burning stove, solar powered lighting, and composting toilet. The cabin is small, 6m x 3m so it really gave us a real taste for tiny living – something both Rob and I are very keen to do long term. The cabin had a little cooker and we cooked our meals at home to save a bit of money, but also it gave us a lot more one on one time. Time to just hang out as a little family.

One of the best parts of this cabin, apart from the tiny living feel, was that it was pet friendly! Jack absolutely loved his stay here, the cabin shared a little outside area with the cabin next door. There was no one staying in the second cabin which meant Jack had free reign to explore the garden – which he absolutely loved.

The nights were cooler, but the stove inside honestly worked such a treat. Rob accidently put several logs on the stove at one time on the first night we were there, and it ended up bringing the temperature inside the cabin to almost hotter than a summer’s day in South Africa. We were sweating that first night, but it made for a good laugh, and we just hydrated with extra wine. It will always be a fond memory of our time in Kinvara.

Tiny living is definitely something I want for us as a family. Since we have moved overseas to Ireland, we have learnt to scale back what we have in our own home. This tiny cabin experience in Kinvara really brought home the fact that we don’t need a lot to survive. And if organised cleverly, you can have the right amount of storage areas to hide away the things you do need. The cabin was fitted with a lot of cool features like a little kitchen nook where we ate our meals; shelves under the bed for storage; and a drying rack that could be hung up on the wall when we had finished using it.

The only real challenge was the compost toilet. I think this is something you have to wrap your head around if you ever plan on going off the grid (or in this case, renting this particular Airbnb). I won’t go into graphic detail about it, but it did take some getting used to. A composting toilet means that there is no water or drainage to flush things away. It basically stores it, and you then have to remove it once it fills up. The mechanics are a bit like a porta-potty, but it doesn’t smell or stink up the place. We thankfully didn’t have to remove or replace the unit while we were there. I am just not sure that sort of contraption is for me, I could handle visiting there, but not for the long term. So maybe going off grid entirely is not for me, but I do think I would love to live in tiny home.

All in all, our time in Kinvara was lovely, if not for being very low-key. That is part of slow travel that I enjoy the most. You don’t need to always be going to still enjoy being away. We had a great time, all three of us, and it was the perfect time away we all needed.

HAVE YOU BEEN TO KINVARA? WHAT DO YOU ENJOY MOST ABOUT A WEEKEND AWAY?

Live Simply & Travel Slow,

~Meg~

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A Minimalist Christmas: 5 Ways to Slow Down This Year

December 11, 2017 by Meg 4 Comments

Christmas has always been my favourite holiday of the year. I love decorating the tree, baking treats with my mum, and being at home with family. Growing up I used to love the presents too. In fact, even last year – I wanted a million presents under the tree. I love lots of small parcels – it means you get to spend loads of time wrapping and unwrapping gifts. I used to look forward to what treats family and loved ones would buy me, and also, what I could buy them. I love getting thoughtful and sometimes sentimental gifts, as well as the occasional funny gift too. But this year has been a bit of a game changer for us. For one, we have learnt how to declutter our home and closets. Secondly, we have learnt how to live on one salary, which means our budget doesn’t really account for loads of present -giving this year. And lastly, we are trying to really get out of debt, we finally paid off both of our credit cards just a few weeks ago. So this year we are trying something a bit different… this year we won’t be buying any gifts. Not for each other, or for our family. We both know that we can’t really afford to buy gifts, especially when the best gift would be if we were completely debt-free. And we think our family and loved ones will understand, since we can’t be with them, and sending presents in the post always makes it that much more expensive.

This year we want to try create new Christmas traditions. We want to see how creative we can get with the festive season, and really focus on the things that matter most to us. Being with the ones we love, spending time with each other and enjoying the holidays together. That’s why I came up with some free things to do over December in Dublin.

We are going to try to be more present with each other. We are not perfect, not as individuals or as partners. We want to take some time this year to really be present with each other. Really listen to each other.

We want to laugh more, with each other and with our friends. This year will be the first year that we will be spending the holidays with our friends instead of our family. We have really great friends coming to visit us here in Ireland, they haven’t been here before so it means we get to show them a little bit of our town while they are here too.

We want to be kinder and more gentle with ourselves. We want to lower the expectations we put on ourselves to be all and do all over the holidays. We want to slow down and just live in the moment of enjoying our time together and with loved ones, and really give our hearts and minds time to process the year we have had and our hopes for the new year ahead.

We are going to stop comparing our journey with everyone else’s. Comparison is a strong game that we are all guilty of playing. This year we want to really focus on what we want for ourselves, and worry less if someone else’s way looks better. It is so easy to look on the outside and make presumptions about how other people live, but speaking from experience – what you see on social media is often not the full story, you have no idea what kind of troubles worry them at night to maintain such a life. We can’t choose only the good bits of life, we have to learn to manage the shitty bits too.

We may not be buying or giving gifts this year, but that doesn’t mean we are going to have any less of a Christmas. We are happy enough to sit on the couch, holding hands, watching the twinkly Christmas tree lights and listening to Christmas tunes. Christmas should be about being present, not just buying presents.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS TRADITION?

Unlock the simple life,

~Meg~

p.s. If social media is your thing (snap! It’s my fave too!), you should totally follow me on Instagram.

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What I learnt about Minimalism after the 30 day #Minsgame Challenge

October 30, 2017 by Meg Leave a Comment

Last month, I decided to try The Minimalists “30-day #Minsgame Challenge”. The idea behind the challenge is to get rid of the excess in your home – cut down, declutter, and only keep what is need or love. The rules of the game are simple: on day 1 you remove 1 thing from your home; day 2 you remove 2 things and so on; all the way to day 30 where you need to throw out 30 items. The items you choose each day can be big or small. You can throw the items out in the trash, or donate them to charity, give them to someone who would love them or even sell them, but it must be out your house by the end of that day. At the end of the 30-day challenge, you will end up throwing out, donating or giving away 465 items! It seems strange to think that I managed to throw out so much, but the thing about this challenge is more about what I learnt about Minimalism and what it means to me.

When I started the challenge, I thought it should be easy enough – over the last year, I have really gotten quite ruthless at letting go of things and I find it relatively easy to ‘declutter’ things I know don’t serve a purpose in my life. Before we left South Africa we sold most of things online. What I didn’t account for was the frustration I would feel when I still managed to find things in my home that I should have gotten rid of a long time ago. I guess you think that if you are a minimalist then you should have zero things to get rid of. Yet somehow, I had overlooked things, and they had managed to stay in my home when I didn’t really need to keep them around. An example is that I found over 20 USB flash sticks in all sorts of places in my home. A lot of them were promo sticks that I thought I would need or found to be useful to keep at the time. But in nearly a year of living here I hadn’t used or thought of using them once. Further to that, some of these USB sticks I had held onto for over 3 years back in South Africa and had never checked or used the content on them.

I think that is the biggest lesson I have learnt on this journey to a simple life, filled with less stuff. That it isn’t as simple as not holding onto anything. Minimalism is not about throwing absolutely everything out either. What I think minimalism is, is having space to breathe. A way to sift through the clutter and see only the things that spark joy.

Minimalism isn’t about stuff. It's about the joy of not having to worry about stuff. Click To Tweet

What I learnt about minimalism after this challenge is that minimalism isn’t about stuff. It’s about the joy of not having to worry about stuff. You can fill your home with trinkets and knick-knacks and all these beautiful wonderful things – if they serve a purpose and that purpose brings you joy then that works for you. You can still be a minimalist with lots of “things” – in fact, I know plenty of girls with huge closets filled with clothes – and I know for a fact they wear them all. Then that works for them. It’s the ones who have price tags on clothes, never worn outfits because they don’t fit, or they feel guilty because they bought it and then decided they didn’t like it. That is what we need to work on. Minimalism helps you work through the guilt your things hold over you. Minimalism helps you to let go of fear and guilt and start thinking about what it is you actually want. Do you want to run into debt by buying pretty things for yourself or because you want to create this illusion that you are happy on the inside? Minimalism strips away those insecurities. It leaves you open to feeling and thinking differently. It lets go of expectations and assumptions on what you think you should have and do. Frankly put, you start not giving a fuck. That’s what I love about minimalism. For the first time in my life I am not living up to be like the joneses. I’m living how I want to live. I am not buying the one trend statement piece for my home because it’s in every decor magazine. But I can buy it, if I really want it. The key with minimalism is – what do you really want?

And so that what this challenge revealed to me; that I am still working on what I need and want to hold onto – and what I want to let go of. It’s a journey I am not sure it will ever really end. It’s not like in 30 days you have thrown out all you need to and now you are a minimalist for life. There will always be something you can find that you don’t need to hold on to. When you do eventually let go of clutter, I am sure you will feel more at peace. But first it will be uncomfortable. Because when there is no clutter between you and your thoughts, that’s when you have the chance to really look at your life, be reflective and think about your next move.

Sorting out clutter is different from decluttering, and decluttering is not the same as minimalism. For me, decluttering was the process that sparked the minimalist lifestyle. I am nowhere near where I want to be, but I am moving towards a life a really want to live. I am a work in progress, and I guess that means that some days I may find a ton of things I need to let go and get rid of, and other days I may focus on how far I have come. How much minimalism has given me this peace and calm – and how I am trying to surround myself with love, kindness and joy.

If you are looking for the same, then I highly recommend you start with looking at what you want most out of life – don’t worry so much if it’s different to what I want, or what your family and friends want. And don’t focus on getting rid of a certain number of things. The truth is, even after 465 items, you might be nowhere near being a minimalist. Start by focusing on what makes you happy. The rest comes fairly easy when you learn to listen to yourself first.

WHAT DOES MINIMALISM MEAN TO YOU?

Unlock the simple life,

~Meg~

p.s. If social media is your thing (snap! It’s my fave too!), you should totally follow me on Instagram.

p.p.s. I try post varied content once or twice a month, to be sure you don’t miss out on the new post you should sign up and get all the news straight in your inbox – Sign up now!

How to keep being a minimalist as a new mom

First, you need to accept that even as a minimalist, you still need stuff.

Equipment, Furniture, Big clunky (and pricey) stuff