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Recap of the Highs and the Lows of 2018

January 1, 2019 by Meg 2 Comments

After all the best nine of 2018 have been posted, and the insta stories that showcase all the highs of 2018 are finally tapped through… I had planned to jump on both bandwagons and share all the highs that made my 2018 great – but then I thought of all the struggles, the tears, the lowest lows and thought that sharing the full picture is more accurate than only glazing over the stress that happened in 2018. It is because of all the shitty moments that the sweet moments were made even sweeter. If I hadn’t gone through all that crap, I would never have savoured all the joy 2018 did eventually bring. So here is my recap – the good, the bad and the out-right stressful life that was this past year.

At the end of 2017 we visited Edinburgh, as a way to end the year on a bit of high since 2017 was the year when literally all the wheels fell off most of our big plans. We went into 2018 hopeful that things would work out, and they did… spoiler alert – it just took 6 months for it to all work out.

In January we headed to Sligo for my birthday, and while it was a great weekend away, my birthday is always a difficult start of the year for me. Partly because I have in the past put heavy expectations on what birthdays should be like, and all the goals I wanted to achieve but didn’t get round to often leave me feeling a bit defeated. 2018’s birthday was no different for me. I was left wondering what I had achieved in 36 years of life, no matter how I look at it, it never feels as though its enough. So while instagram was showing all the exploring we did in Sligo, I was secretly battling with my own demons.

If you live in a country that has winter in February, you know that what is the shortest month of the year, ends up feeling like the longest month – it felt like spring was never going to arrive. And for a while, it didn’t, in fact, the Beast from the East arrived instead and we were snowed in for 3 days. Our first snow day as a family, and Jack’s first experience of snow. It ended up being a great break, and we used the time for loads of walks in the snow together.

In March we had our first visitors for the year, Jane and Nic arrived from SA and we spent time showing them around Dublin. We spent our second St Patrick’s day in Ireland in Dublin. Then after they left, I got a chance to head to Lisbon, Portugal for work – it was a busy 3 days in Lisbon but I still managed to fit so much in and I really was grateful for the trip, even if the stress of work was hard.

We ended the month visiting London and our dear friends, Kristy and Kirsten. They pulled out all the stops with a surprise birthday cake for Rob, tickets to watch an Arsenal match, street art hunting, gin and wine drinking, and just spending time with these two on their couch talking till the wee hours of the morning was so good for both our souls. Honestly, through all the uncertainty that we had going on in our life, their friendship has been there for us no matter what. The infinite voice notes from Kristy throughout the whole year was honestly one of the reasons I think I made it through the year.

April started off well with an interview on a podcast about our life as expats in Ireland – it was kinda surreal that someone wanted to listen to our story. You can listen to it here. But with all the stress that followed us from 2017 still left uncertain, I hit breaking point and suffered my first of many panic attacks this year. Anxiety and stress all bubbled to the surface and I was left making some heavy decisions about who my friends were, and how I planned to recover and get back up. I am grateful that looking back, I can see that I did eventually get back up – but at the time, April was honestly one of the hardest months for me. At the end of this month we decided to make a few changes, and started looking at moving out of the city and somewhere closer for me to travel to work.

At the beginning of May we visited more friends in the UK, Derek and Candi and they showed us around their new home. We visited a lot of places with them including Manchester, Liverpool, Chester, York and even dipped into Wales for a day.

Even though we had no idea what was happening with our expat lives, we decided to take a huge risk and move to our dream home out of the city – it was a move that at the time seemed crazy to do, since we had no idea what the future had in store for us but it is one I am happy we made because in the end, things did work out and this new home has meant new friendships have blossomed and we have better life balance and a place that we can truly feel at home.

In fact things worked out just 2 weeks after we had moved in… Rob’s work permit came through and it meant that he could start his new job. We found this out the day we landed in Glasgow, and were about to start our road trip through Scottish Highlands to Inverness. It was the relief we needed to truly enjoy our second trip to Scotland. Scotland will always hold a special place in my heart because of this. Looking back we went to Edinburgh in December 2017 unsure if it would be our last trip abroad, and ended up opening the future for us and extending our stay indefinitely in June 2018. Life really does have a way of working out in the end.

As a way to start anew, in July we did a road trip just the three of us to explore West Cork and the Beara Peninsula. It’s a part of the country that is so wild and untamed, possibly one of my favourite trips of all time. I also started yoga twice a week, and it had life changing effects to my mental head space.

In August, we saw our family after nearly 2 years after leaving South Africa, Rob’s parents came to visit us. We spent just under two weeks doing an epic Irish road trip starting with a trip up to Northern Ireland visiting places like Belfast, Giant’s Causeway, Castlerock, Coleraine, Derry, and ending the North of Ireland adventure in my now favourite visited county, county Donegal.

We continued the Irish roadtrip with Rob’s parents into September, this time heading to Leitrim, then heading south to Cobh, Waterford, then Dungarvan, then along the copper coast, all the way down to Kinsale. September saw the final end to our immigration stress, with my work permit renewal being processed after 15 weeks of waiting.

In October I decided to invest in myself, and I started the unselfishly me 8 week course. It instilled some more good habits like listening to inspiring podcasts, journaling, and daily meditation. The course uncovered a lot of what I had failed to work through mentally in previous months and I learnt a lot about myself and the kind of life I want to live. Including letting go of toxic relationships and forgiving myself. I did a lot soul-searching and honestly can’t recommend meditation or this self love course enough. At the end of October we did a road trip as a family and explored Hook Peninsula, in Wexford. Another great part of the country, even though this trip was slightly less run around and see all the things – we perfected the art of slow travel and fully rested that long weekend. We came home feeling recharged and rested.

In November I had to travel to Killarney for a work event, Rob joined me and we had a great trip with my work friends. For the rest of the month I continued to practice yoga, journal, meditate and finally felt the anxiety and panic attacks ease a bit. I am learning that its best to take life day by day and to stop worrying about the future so much, rather focus on being present and mindful in the moment.

We ended 2018 with a trip of a lifetime visiting my whole family in Mauritius. My brother and his family live in Mauritius and my parents made the trip out from South Africa so that we could all spend Christmas together as a family. It was a lot of sun, sea, drinks, swimming with dolphins, running and screaming with my niece and nephew, simple moments with my family in their home, pushing my niece and nephew on the swing, playing hide and seek, cuddles, tears, laughter… it was indescribable all the joy and sadness I felt in that holiday. The joy of spending time with family and loved ones, and the sadness in not knowing when the next time will be.

So there you have it. The highs and the very lows of 2018. And when I look at it all set out in this blog post – I realise how much we have done; we visited 6 countries and explored 21 of 32 counties in Ireland. We did a lot of local travel and 2019 will be no different – we plan to see more of this beautiful country we are fortunate enough to live in. We plan to continue to face the struggles and admin that surrounds living away from home and in a foreign country – hopefully with a little more grace, and with a lot of deep breaths.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, WISHING YOU AND YOURS THE VERY BEST IN 2019!

Live Simply & Travel Slow,

~Meg~

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My thoughts on being an outsider in a foreign country

June 15, 2018 by Meg 5 Comments

Sometimes it feels like there is a never ending amount of forms to be filled in, papers to be shuffled, ticking away on keyboards, substantiating evidence, stamping stamps, waiting around for appointments to become available, answers to be given, and sign off to be granted for us to stay and work in a foreign country. And those are sometimes not even the most challenging parts of being an expat. The hurdles and admin can seem endless, but at times, the people can seem cold and unsympathetic. You can sometimes be left feeling incredibly alone and isolated and so very far away from home, somewhere where nothing is familiar and that can be the most unsettling feeling.

It can be an incredibly humbling experience when you realise that you are not as interesting and as unique as you thought you were. You are just foreign. The benefit to being an expat is that this experience opens your eyes up to this fact. The fact is that people might speak the same language in other countries, but different countries still have different cultures. It is sometimes very hard to know without fully immersing yourself in a new culture, and asking questions and learning and being respectful that your way might not be the way that others are used to.

The simple fact is that as an expat, sometimes you are the only one aware of all these differences, and furthermore, sometimes you as the foreigner, are the only one willing to compromise and learn from the experience. For the most part you are surrounded by people that feel safe, that are home, and that aren’t different – and it can be hard for those people to even become self aware that perhaps the foreign person feels isolated and alone.

I sometimes can be in crowded room, filled with laughter, and all the craic in the world – and yet feel so homesick, and alone. I often have internal dialogues with myself, where I relate to what is happening around me, to how it would be different in South Africa. I have these thoughts internally, because in some instances, not everyone wants to have a ‘lesson’ in South Africanism, and what its like back in my country. It might sound like people are insensitive to my feelings, but I think it is sometimes just ignorance of the vast differences between our cultures. And really why should they learn about South Africa – they didn’t choose to move away from home.

Being an expat, I have learnt patience, patience in waiting for processes to be followed and forms to be submitted, and all the bureaucracy that comes with living in a foreign country. But I have also learnt to be patient with people, patiently waiting for the right time to speak out, and share my stories of home and what it feels like to be so far away from home.

It is difficult to put into words how I am feeling, but this week has been a hard week for me emotionally. I can’t seem to put my finger on what is exactly bothering me, but then I realised what it was. I miss being home, I miss being normal, I miss blending into being part of the crowd, I miss being part of the majority. I miss being among people who might not care about you personally, but where you still feel you fit in and you don’t have to explain why so many things are different here to what they are like back home. The most upsetting part of this week is that I am not sure this feeling will ever fully go away. Because at the heart of the matter, no matter how long I stay away, I don’t want to lose my South Africanism, I don’t want to blend in. I want to be me, the person who I have always been – and so this feeling of being an outsider might never go away. And while I have learnt so much, and I am continually learning about who I am, and how big the world really is – perhaps there is a way for me to rub off some of me here? It is just another part of the process of being an expat I am yet to work out how to solve.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AN OUTSIDER IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY – HOW DID YOU EASE THE FEELING?

Live Simply & Travel Slow,

~Meg~

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15 Irish words or sayings you need to know

April 23, 2018 by Meg 5 Comments

Rob and I have been living here for nearly 18 months, and over this time we have learnt a lot about living in Ireland, the way things work, and a large part of moving abroad is learning more about the people, and how to communicate with people is how we all form connections and make friends. Making connections with people helps you integrate into your new life overseas. It is key to be able to ‘fit in’ in your new country, if you don’t feel as though you belong, then it is unlikely that you will stay long term.

One of the reasons we decided to move to Ireland was because we thought language would not be a hurdle since we both speak English. We thought Irish would be similar to South Africans, for example we both have a similar sense of humour. However, one of the major differences between us is the terminology and phrases we both use – perhaps some of these Irish sayings will be similar to your own country, but these are not sayings we are not use to hearing back in South Africa.

LIKE. I think the Irish are the original ‘likers’. The Irish folk we have met use the word ‘like’ a lot. It reminds me of a guy I knew years ago, who used to point out how many times I said ‘um’ – he was a real jerk, but he had a point, I did say um a lot back then. It makes me think how he would hate to be around the Irish because they say like ten times more than I ever said ‘um’. OK, so maybe this is used back home too, but for the Irish, they use it a little differently, it is usually placed at the end of sentences. For example, ‘she is crazy, like’; ‘It was some good craic, like’. These sentences just don’t sound the same coming out of anyone else. But with the Irish it feels like an accentuation to the story, and it kind of just works, or maybe I am just getting used to it.
CRAIC. Another very popular word used by the Irish is ‘Craic’; pronounced ‘crack’. It is used to ask how things are going, what is the vibe like, or if something is good fun. For example: ‘What’s the craic? Ah last night was good craic. Are you up for a bit of craic?’ Second to like, it is one of the most used words in Ireland, I reckon. So it is a handy one to know, especially if you were like me, and thought they were looking to buy drugs.
SHORTEN WORDS. The Irish like to create their own slang by cutting down words and add an O, words like devo, and morto are commonly used – perhaps more with younger teenage girls.
GRAND. DELIGHTED. CLASS. Grand is used a lot, in the same way that South Africans use the word ‘lekker’. Some Irish will go so far as to say ‘Ah it is grand so’ meaning it is lekker or nice just like that. Everything can be grand but it is usually referred to when something is awesome, great or just OK. Delighted is used when they would ‘love to’, for example ‘I would be delighted’ and Class refers to when something is top-notch, it was class.
GAS. When something is hilarious or funny or just fun – it is gas.
YE. This is probably a bit of old English, but it is used instead of you, for example: what are ye doing here like? Or ‘where are ye off to?’ I kind of like this one, but it never really sounds right in coming out of my voice.
SWEAR WORDS. Shite instead of Shit, Feck instead of Fuck. In some ways, they swear a bit more than us, but I find they sound so much more polite when they swear than when I do! Maybe it’s the accent thing but they will say shite, or feck as an adjective in most sentences and it never comes off as being totally rude.
YOKE. This is another word for something you don’t know what to call it, like thingamajig; or that thing, Irish folk will call it a yoke.
BOLD. Instead of saying someone is being cocky or cheeky; you say that they are being bold. It is often used with kids, i.e. ‘Johnny is being so bold’.
COP ON. Get with the program, Catch a wakeup call; you just need to cop on. I have no idea how this even came to be a saying, but it is often used in banter, when you are talking to someone who does not fully understand what you are saying – you need to ‘cop the feck on’.
YOUR MAN. This is not related to your actual man, or your husband or boyfriend. But rather refers to ‘some guy’, used in a sentence like this: ‘I was at Tesco and your man behind the counter said they were having a sale’. It is possibly the most bizarre one out of them all, and it feels so out of place that I don’t think this will ever be something I will be able to say without laughing at myself.
YOU ARE VERY WELCOME. This is a saying that is used as a bit of a welcome introduction. Irish are very polite and will always start a tour or speech with ‘you are very welcome’. It is one of my favourite terms used by the Irish, they are very welcoming.
NO BOTHER. Probably quite a common saying but South Africans say ‘no worries’ about as much as Irish folk say ‘it is no bother’, meaning that something is no trouble at all.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO. This actually refers to something that you probably should do. Irish are very polite, probably a little too much. South Africans are often seen as being too direct or blunt, because we will just say it like it is. Whereas Irish will say ‘you might want to’ in an effort to be a bit more polite than coming right out and saying ‘just do it my way’. They say it in a way that you might have a choice, but really it is more like a strong suggestion.
LOOK COME HERE. Rob never understood what I meant when I said that a lot of my Irish colleagues will say this when they are on the phone. It is a sentence that runs off their tongue so quickly, so every time I said it to him, he said he had never heard it before. But once he heard someone in his own office saying – you just can’t un-hear it. They will usually say it when they when they are chasing up a request or trying to get information. In the same way that we might say ‘ah ya know what’; they will say ‘ah sure look come here’. The next time you are in an open plan office, see if you can hear it too.

WHAT IRISH SAYINGS HAVE YOU NOTICED? ANYTHING I MISSED OFF THE LIST?

Live Simply & Travel Slow,

~Meg~

p.s. If social media is your thing (snap! It’s my fave too!), you should totally follow me on Instagram.

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How to Declutter and Organise Your Home Like a Minimalist

August 31, 2017 by Meg 4 Comments

We started this “journey to less” last year when we packed up our house, sold most of our things online and moved to Ireland. I guess in some ways the best way to cut down and really organise your home is to move countries. If you are still looking to get rid of the clutter, live with less and keep your home organized like a minimalist, then I have some tips for you.

Looking to get rid of the clutter? Keep your home organized like a minimalist, with these tips Click To Tweet

The most obvious tip is that you need to start somewhere. There are tons of challenges or steps you can follow online, but just start in one room or aspect of your life and work your way through. The sooner you start, the sooner it will feel so overwhelming. Waiting for the right time to sort things out is the height of procrastination, trust me I get that but just start and slowly you will start seeing the space open up. Just starting somewhere creates this knock-on effect where you see results so you feel motivated to keep going.

With that in mind, it’s very hard to get it all done in one day, so be patient with yourself – it’s an ongoing process. If you do a little bit each day, it becomes manageable. Try focus on one room at time, and don’t move on until you are happy with the look of it.

The key is to keep the mission of decluttering top of mind. So replace things, and avoid adding more into your home without acknowledging that you are bringing more into the home. If you are always buying things and adding to your home that is when starts to feel overwhelming. Try work with what you have before you bring more stuff into your home.

Find a home for everything. The best way to beat that overwhelmed feeling of drowning in clutter is to keep things in their place. Once you finish using something, make sure you put it back in the same place every time. If everything has a home or a space, you will clearly see if you have space to add anything more.

Try limiting the urge to buy in bulk or stock up on things that will take you months to use up. It’s not really saving if you don’t actually need it. You will end up storing it in the cupboard, forget you have it, and never use it.

Actually use and enjoy your things. We talked about this the other day on my Facebook group, don’t save the candles for a special occasion, or let the fancy glasses gather dust. Why live with things that you just store away and never use? Lately I have been making a conscious effort to use the things we have, give the items in your home a purpose or a reason to hold onto them and if they don’t spark joy or make you happy – then why are you hanging onto them?

Get into the habit of straightening up your home for 5 minutes each day – make your bed, clear your counters, pack away the things you are finished using. I find that if I start my day with my bed made and my room tidied, I feel far lighter and I am generally more productive for the rest of the day.

These are just some of the things that I do each day to stay on top of the clutter. Don’t think that it will happen overnight and be kind to yourself as you go through this journey. If you focus on your reasons why you want to get rid of the clutter – it makes the experiencing of organising your home far more enjoyable. It is also important to remember that being a minimalist is not about limiting yourself, and have zero items. It is about being conscious about what you spend your time on. If you are forever cleaning and tidying a messy home, or if you are always feeling crowded by things – trust me once you let go and open up your home, you will enjoy being in your home. So light the candles; use the fancy bubble bath, pour a glass of that good wine – you don’t need a special occasion to enjoy your home. Make your home your sanctuary by clearing it of things that don’t spark joy for you.

And if you are looking for a challenge to get you started, why not join me in a #minsgame created by The Minimalists. The rules of the game are simple: on day 1 remove one thing from your home; day 2 you remove two things and so on; all the way to day 30 where you need to throw out 30 items. Items can be big or small; you can throw out in the trash, donate, give or sell but it has to be out your house by the end of that day. I am going to start the challenge tomorrow; you can follow along on my Facebook page or in my Instagram stories.

JOIN ME; LET’S GET RID OF THE CLUTTER! SO WHO IS WITH ME?

Unlock the simple life,

~Meg~

p.s. If social media is your thing (snap! It’s my fave too!), you should totally follow me on Instagram.

p.p.s. I try post varied content once or twice a month, to be sure you don’t miss out on the new post you should sign up and get all the news straight in your inbox – Sign up now!

Recap of the Highs and the Lows of 2018

My thoughts on being an outsider in a foreign country

15 Irish words or sayings you need to know

How to Declutter and Organise Your Home Like a Minimalist

JOIN ME; LET’S GET RID OF THE CLUTTER! SO WHO IS WITH ME?

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