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honesty

My thoughts on being an outsider in a foreign country

June 15, 2018 by Meg 5 Comments

Sometimes it feels like there is a never ending amount of forms to be filled in, papers to be shuffled, ticking away on keyboards, substantiating evidence, stamping stamps, waiting around for appointments to become available, answers to be given, and sign off to be granted for us to stay and work in a foreign country. And those are sometimes not even the most challenging parts of being an expat.Sometimes it feels like there is a never ending amount of forms to be filled in, papers to be shuffled, ticking away on keyboards, substantiating evidence, stamping stamps, waiting around for appointments to become available, answers to be given, and sign off to be granted for us to stay and work in a foreign country. And those are sometimes not even the most challenging parts of being an expat. The hurdles and admin can seem endless, but at times, the people can seem cold and unsympathetic. You can sometimes be left feeling incredibly alone and isolated and so very far away from home, somewhere where nothing is familiar and that can be the most unsettling feeling.

*Related Post: Read the things no one talks about when you move to a new country*

It can be an incredibly humbling experience when you realise that you are not as interesting and as unique as you thought you were. You are just foreign. The benefit to being an expat is that this experience opens your eyes up to this fact. The fact is that people might speak the same language in other countries, but different countries still have different cultures. It is sometimes very hard to know without fully immersing yourself in a new culture, and asking questions and learning and being respectful that your way might not be the way that others are used to.

The simple fact is that as an expat, sometimes you are the only one aware of all these differences, and furthermore, sometimes you as the foreigner, are the only one willing to compromise and learn from the experience. For the most part you are surrounded by people that feel safe, that are home, and that aren’t different – and it can be hard for those people to even become self aware that perhaps the foreign person feels isolated and alone.

I sometimes can be in crowded room, filled with laughter, and all the craic in the world – and yet feel so homesick, and alone. I often have internal dialogues with myself, where I relate to what is happening around me, to how it would be different in South Africa. I have these thoughts internally, because in some instances, not everyone wants to have a ‘lesson’ in South Africanism, and what its like back in my country. It might sound like people are insensitive to my feelings, but I think it is sometimes just ignorance of the vast differences between our cultures. And really why should they learn about South Africa – they didn’t choose to move away from home.

Being an expat, I have learnt patience, patience in waiting for processes to be followed and forms to be submitted, and all the bureaucracy that comes with living in a foreign country. But I have also learnt to be patient with people, patiently waiting for the right time to speak out, and share my stories of home and what it feels like to be so far away from home.

It is difficult to put into words how I am feeling, but this week has been a hard week for me emotionally. I can’t seem to put my finger on what is exactly bothering me, but then I realised what it was. I miss being home, I miss being normal, I miss blending into being part of the crowd, I miss being part of the majority. I miss being among people who might not care about you personally, but where you still feel you fit in and you don’t have to explain why so many things are different here to what they are like back home. The most upsetting part of this week is that I am not sure this feeling will ever fully go away. Because at the heart of the matter, no matter how long I stay away, I don’t want to lose my South Africanism, I don’t want to blend in. I want to be me, the person who I have always been – and so this feeling of being an outsider might never go away. And while I have learnt so much, and I am continually learning about who I am, and how big the world really is – perhaps there is a way for me to rub off some of me here? It is just another part of the process of being an expat I am yet to work out how to solve.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AN OUTSIDER IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY – HOW DID YOU EASE THE FEELING?

Live Simply & Travel Slow,

~Meg~

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Sometimes it feels like there is a never ending amount of forms to be filled in, papers to be shuffled, ticking away on keyboards, substantiating evidence, stamping stamps, waiting around for appointments to become available, answers to be given, and sign off to be granted for us to stay and work in a foreign country. And those are sometimes not even the most challenging parts of being an expat.

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Filed Under: Irishlife Tagged With: expat, expat life, honesty, irishlife, life, living abroad, south africa, travel tips

My focus for 2017

January 4, 2017 by Meg 7 Comments

2017 focus
2017 has officially started. I have taken a bit longer in writing this post because for a long time all my thoughts were just a muddle in my head. My goals for this new year are simple, yet overwhelming at the same time. I realised I needed to be more specific with my goals for this year. I still like the resolutions I had in 2016 but I decided to really break them down into manageable, quantifiable goals, so here goes:

  1. Run once a week for the year – 52 runs at least (regardless of time and distance)
  2. Run a 5km comfortably – get a training plan in place and start by 1 Feb
  3. 5 walks/hikes – I have a list that I will share with you soon
  4. Visit 3 counties in Ireland (not including Dublin!)
  5. Do 2 big holidays – I cannot wait to share what these are!
  6. Read daily – with a focus on mind and body
  7. Complete the 8 week Beach Body Program
  8. Start and complete a new challenge group
  9. Track my steps everyday with my Fitbit (the goal is set to walk 10k steps a day)
  10. Eat breakfast at least 5 days a week
  11. Run a race in Ireland (races here are kinda expensive, so it may just be one race this year)
  12. Blog consistently – stick to the plan and blog weekly (I still need to do that live FB video!)
  13. Pay my folks back 1/3 of what I owe them
  14. Get my credit card down to a more manageable figure
  15. Review my goals at the end of each month and celebrate my successes

Along with my goals for 2017, I tried to think of one word to encapsulate 2017 – one word to live by. I thought long and hard about it too. Every day I would tell Rob a different word: appreciate, enjoy, less, simplify, breathe, journey, relish, savour, cherish… the list never seemed to end, and I just never could get a word that I felt I could honestly stick with, and one that encompassed all that I was feeling.

My biggest challenge in 2017 will be to overcome this comparing phase I seem to have been stuck on all my life. In high school, I felt you needed to be cool to be popular. In varsity, I thought you needed to be popular to stand out. In work, to stand out, I thought you had to be earning big bucks to be successful. In marriage, to be successful, I often think society says you are not complete if you are not a mother, you need to have babies. But none of that is true.

I learnt too late that my quirkiness and weirdness makes me authentic. That the fact that I love my job makes me successful. That a marriage is only as strong as the two people who communicate to each other – and communicate every day. That if you work as a team you can achieve all your goals and dreams – and that your goals and dreams as a married couple might not be to have kids, and that doesn’t make you a bad person. I really need to stop worrying what I think other people think – because maybe not everyone thinks that way, and who cares if they do!

My hope for 2017 is that I continue to follow my own path, and to enjoy my own journey. I need to stop comparing myself to others. I compare my life to others all the time. I look at what some friends have or do, and I feel jealous, regardless of all the incredible things that have happened in my life, all my amazing achievements, I am still hungry to please others. I still want what others have. I often don’t stop to think that everyone has their own path, their own journey. That my path will lead me to all the things I want, with hard work and focus, I just need to trust myself and keep my focus on me, looking forward to my own future.

In 2017, I want to challenge myself to live with less. To focus on what truly matters, and trust me it is not stuff. I want to simplify how I live. I want to buy only what I need, and to stop trying to live up to the Jones’s. Material objects cannot bring you happiness – adventures, experiences, travel, meeting new people, trying new food, seeing new places – these are things I want to spend my hard-earned money on. Not on fancy shoes, or designer perfume.

I hope you will join me this year as I try to be kinder to myself. I aim to continue to love and support the ones around me that are having a fabulous life, and not to tarnish it with my jealousy. I plan to simplify, quantify, and be consistent – not just in January but throughout the year.

I think I have finally figured out what my word for 2017 will be: KINDNESS. To treat myself and others with kindness – that will be my focus this year.

kindness

What are your hopes/dreams/goals for 2017? Do you have one word you have chosen to live by for 2017? Share with me in the comments!

~ Meg ~

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Filed Under: A Happy Life Tagged With: Challenges, determination, Getfit, Goals, Happiness, honesty, journey, life, Motivation, Truth

Our Big News

August 31, 2016 by Meg 17 Comments

big news

This month has honestly felt like it has flown by but at the same time, stood still. We have been keeping a big secret, some pretty big news and I just can’t wait to share it with you.

And before any of you get all worked up…. I am not pregnant! (seriously, everyone thinks that first. Like do you not know me!?)

Our Big News is that we are going to be MOVING! But here is the kicker… we are moving to DUBLIN, IRELAND!

How Did This Start?

While we were on our honeymoon, last year October, we had a serious heart-to-heart about what we wanted out of life. Where we saw our lives going and what life in general was all about. Over our time dating, we have had a lot of these deep and meaningful conversations, but it suddenly felt more real knowing that we were finally married and now we needed to decide our next big step.

Our Reasons Why?

As most of you know, Rob and I are pretty much on the fence about having children. We are of the opinion if it happens that is cool, if it doesn’t that is also cool. Parenting in general looks like serious hard work and plenty of sacrifices. Rob and I have a great lifestyle of staying up late drinking wine and talking crap, sleeping in or getting up early and going for a run. We both enjoy running and enter a lot of races together. All this would have to change if a kid came onto the scene. We are selfish with our time. So in some ways, in a lot of ways actually, we feel we are not ready to give up our current lifestyle for a new one with kids.

But one thing we both share is our love to experience life and adventure. We both love to travel. We both come from fairly small towns in KZN, and we have always been itching to explore South Africa and the world. When we first moved to Joburg in 2012 we made it our mission to say YES to everything and explore as much as we could of Joburg. I can honestly say we have done a lot, but not nearly as much as we would have liked to.

We love South Africa. Lets first just say we don’t see this move as emigrating or leaving forever. We truly love South Africa. As South Africans we are incredibly spoilt with the kind of lifestyle we have here. The weather, the food, the people, the different places and cultures – it is a melting pot of awesomesauce. We see ourselves coming back home, we just have so much of the world we want to see and unfortunately distance and money right now can’t make that happen as often as we would like to.

our heart is africa

So Why Ireland?

We started exploring our options and seeing where we could live and still explore the world. Rob originally applied for a position in Luxembourg but it fell through. The recruiter he was dealing with gave him a call and they chatted for a while about the reasons for looking at overseas options. He mentioned there was something available in Dublin. Rob and I talked a lot about what that would mean for us.

Our first thoughts were on Jack, our furbaby, who definitely had to come with us. We inquired to see if that was possible with no quarantine time. Tick, no quarantine just some blood work and he needs to be chipped.

We talked about the weather, how it rains so much there and how we wouldn’t have a summer for a while. But then we looked at how affordable and close places were that we could travel to. Spain for 40euros; London for 20euros; Prague for 50euros. Everything was at our finger tips.

We are well aware we are giving up our families being close by, great weather, take out/fine dining, a maid service, and good cheap wine. But we are giving it up for more travel and a different kind of life adventure.

So What Happens Next?

Rob put his CV forward for the job and a few weeks later he got offered the job! The rest is as they say, history. My last month at work will be September. Then in October I will go and spend sometime with my family in KZN. Rob starts his job 1 November so he will go over first to find a place for us to live. Jack and I will follow afterwards. My current job has offered an opportunity to do some contract work for a short time, which will be great while I look for something more permanent over there.

What About The Blog?

So what you might be asking yourself, what will happen to the blog? The blog posts will keep rolling in, my friends! Possibly a bit more sporadically at first while we get settled but now I will have even more things to share with you! How we moved over; our life in Ireland; things to see and do there. There is so much more to talk about and share. So many adventures and experiences to look forward to!

I hope you will stay with me, subscribe to my blog and follow my journey on social media – more than anything I hope you will see this as a positive life twist. We are not leaving, our hearts will always stay here, but our feet have just gone travelling.

love is home

~ Meg ~

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Filed Under: Irishlife Tagged With: Challenges, Happiness, honesty, ireland, journey, Les Mills Bodypump, life, Love, Running, travel

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About Meg

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Hey! My name is Meg. I blog about the life I share with my hubby, Rob; our furbaby, Jack and the newest family member, our daughter Riley. In 2016, we moved to a new country, cut down on clutter, and started focusing on unlocking a simple life, filled with travel and adventure. Read my story here

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