expat

My thoughts on being an outsider in a foreign country

June 15, 2018 by Meg 5 Comments

Sometimes it feels like there is a never ending amount of forms to be filled in, papers to be shuffled, ticking away on keyboards, substantiating evidence, stamping stamps, waiting around for appointments to become available, answers to be given, and sign off to be granted for us to stay and work in a foreign country. And those are sometimes not even the most challenging parts of being an expat. The hurdles and admin can seem endless, but at times, the people can seem cold and unsympathetic. You can sometimes be left feeling incredibly alone and isolated and so very far away from home, somewhere where nothing is familiar and that can be the most unsettling feeling.

It can be an incredibly humbling experience when you realise that you are not as interesting and as unique as you thought you were. You are just foreign. The benefit to being an expat is that this experience opens your eyes up to this fact. The fact is that people might speak the same language in other countries, but different countries still have different cultures. It is sometimes very hard to know without fully immersing yourself in a new culture, and asking questions and learning and being respectful that your way might not be the way that others are used to.

The simple fact is that as an expat, sometimes you are the only one aware of all these differences, and furthermore, sometimes you as the foreigner, are the only one willing to compromise and learn from the experience. For the most part you are surrounded by people that feel safe, that are home, and that aren’t different – and it can be hard for those people to even become self aware that perhaps the foreign person feels isolated and alone.

I sometimes can be in crowded room, filled with laughter, and all the craic in the world – and yet feel so homesick, and alone. I often have internal dialogues with myself, where I relate to what is happening around me, to how it would be different in South Africa. I have these thoughts internally, because in some instances, not everyone wants to have a ‘lesson’ in South Africanism, and what its like back in my country. It might sound like people are insensitive to my feelings, but I think it is sometimes just ignorance of the vast differences between our cultures. And really why should they learn about South Africa – they didn’t choose to move away from home.

Being an expat, I have learnt patience, patience in waiting for processes to be followed and forms to be submitted, and all the bureaucracy that comes with living in a foreign country. But I have also learnt to be patient with people, patiently waiting for the right time to speak out, and share my stories of home and what it feels like to be so far away from home.

It is difficult to put into words how I am feeling, but this week has been a hard week for me emotionally. I can’t seem to put my finger on what is exactly bothering me, but then I realised what it was. I miss being home, I miss being normal, I miss blending into being part of the crowd, I miss being part of the majority. I miss being among people who might not care about you personally, but where you still feel you fit in and you don’t have to explain why so many things are different here to what they are like back home. The most upsetting part of this week is that I am not sure this feeling will ever fully go away. Because at the heart of the matter, no matter how long I stay away, I don’t want to lose my South Africanism, I don’t want to blend in. I want to be me, the person who I have always been – and so this feeling of being an outsider might never go away. And while I have learnt so much, and I am continually learning about who I am, and how big the world really is – perhaps there is a way for me to rub off some of me here? It is just another part of the process of being an expat I am yet to work out how to solve.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AN OUTSIDER IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY – HOW DID YOU EASE THE FEELING?

Live Simply & Travel Slow,

~Meg~

p.s. If social media is your thing (snap! It’s my fave too!), you should totally follow me on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook or join my exclusive Facebook Group. And because I seriously am an open book, if you ever want to bounce ideas off me, or just chat and connect send me an email (I really love chatting!)..

p.p.s. I try post varied content 2 -3 times a month, to be sure you don’t miss out on the new post you should sign up and get all the news straight in your inbox – Sign up now!

PIN THIS AND READ LATER:

15 Irish words or sayings you need to know

April 23, 2018 by Meg 5 Comments

Rob and I have been living here for nearly 18 months, and over this time we have learnt a lot about living in Ireland, the way things work, and a large part of moving abroad is learning more about the people, and how to communicate with people is how we all form connections and make friends. Making connections with people helps you integrate into your new life overseas. It is key to be able to ‘fit in’ in your new country, if you don’t feel as though you belong, then it is unlikely that you will stay long term.

One of the reasons we decided to move to Ireland was because we thought language would not be a hurdle since we both speak English. We thought Irish would be similar to South Africans, for example we both have a similar sense of humour. However, one of the major differences between us is the terminology and phrases we both use – perhaps some of these Irish sayings will be similar to your own country, but these are not sayings we are not use to hearing back in South Africa.

LIKE. I think the Irish are the original ‘likers’. The Irish folk we have met use the word ‘like’ a lot. It reminds me of a guy I knew years ago, who used to point out how many times I said ‘um’ – he was a real jerk, but he had a point, I did say um a lot back then. It makes me think how he would hate to be around the Irish because they say like ten times more than I ever said ‘um’. OK, so maybe this is used back home too, but for the Irish, they use it a little differently, it is usually placed at the end of sentences. For example, ‘she is crazy, like’; ‘It was some good craic, like’. These sentences just don’t sound the same coming out of anyone else. But with the Irish it feels like an accentuation to the story, and it kind of just works, or maybe I am just getting used to it.
CRAIC. Another very popular word used by the Irish is ‘Craic’; pronounced ‘crack’. It is used to ask how things are going, what is the vibe like, or if something is good fun. For example: ‘What’s the craic? Ah last night was good craic. Are you up for a bit of craic?’ Second to like, it is one of the most used words in Ireland, I reckon. So it is a handy one to know, especially if you were like me, and thought they were looking to buy drugs.
SHORTEN WORDS. The Irish like to create their own slang by cutting down words and add an O, words like devo, and morto are commonly used – perhaps more with younger teenage girls.
GRAND. DELIGHTED. CLASS. Grand is used a lot, in the same way that South Africans use the word ‘lekker’. Some Irish will go so far as to say ‘Ah it is grand so’ meaning it is lekker or nice just like that. Everything can be grand but it is usually referred to when something is awesome, great or just OK. Delighted is used when they would ‘love to’, for example ‘I would be delighted’ and Class refers to when something is top-notch, it was class.
GAS. When something is hilarious or funny or just fun – it is gas.
YE. This is probably a bit of old English, but it is used instead of you, for example: what are ye doing here like? Or ‘where are ye off to?’ I kind of like this one, but it never really sounds right in coming out of my voice.
SWEAR WORDS. Shite instead of Shit, Feck instead of Fuck. In some ways, they swear a bit more than us, but I find they sound so much more polite when they swear than when I do! Maybe it’s the accent thing but they will say shite, or feck as an adjective in most sentences and it never comes off as being totally rude.
YOKE. This is another word for something you don’t know what to call it, like thingamajig; or that thing, Irish folk will call it a yoke.
BOLD. Instead of saying someone is being cocky or cheeky; you say that they are being bold. It is often used with kids, i.e. ‘Johnny is being so bold’.
COP ON. Get with the program, Catch a wakeup call; you just need to cop on. I have no idea how this even came to be a saying, but it is often used in banter, when you are talking to someone who does not fully understand what you are saying – you need to ‘cop the feck on’.
YOUR MAN. This is not related to your actual man, or your husband or boyfriend. But rather refers to ‘some guy’, used in a sentence like this: ‘I was at Tesco and your man behind the counter said they were having a sale’. It is possibly the most bizarre one out of them all, and it feels so out of place that I don’t think this will ever be something I will be able to say without laughing at myself.
YOU ARE VERY WELCOME. This is a saying that is used as a bit of a welcome introduction. Irish are very polite and will always start a tour or speech with ‘you are very welcome’. It is one of my favourite terms used by the Irish, they are very welcoming.
NO BOTHER. Probably quite a common saying but South Africans say ‘no worries’ about as much as Irish folk say ‘it is no bother’, meaning that something is no trouble at all.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO. This actually refers to something that you probably should do. Irish are very polite, probably a little too much. South Africans are often seen as being too direct or blunt, because we will just say it like it is. Whereas Irish will say ‘you might want to’ in an effort to be a bit more polite than coming right out and saying ‘just do it my way’. They say it in a way that you might have a choice, but really it is more like a strong suggestion.
LOOK COME HERE. Rob never understood what I meant when I said that a lot of my Irish colleagues will say this when they are on the phone. It is a sentence that runs off their tongue so quickly, so every time I said it to him, he said he had never heard it before. But once he heard someone in his own office saying – you just can’t un-hear it. They will usually say it when they when they are chasing up a request or trying to get information. In the same way that we might say ‘ah ya know what’; they will say ‘ah sure look come here’. The next time you are in an open plan office, see if you can hear it too.

WHAT IRISH SAYINGS HAVE YOU NOTICED? ANYTHING I MISSED OFF THE LIST?

Live Simply & Travel Slow,

~Meg~

p.p.s. I try post varied content 2 -3 times a month, to be sure you don’t miss out on the new post you should sign up and get all the news straight in your inbox – Sign up now!

PIN THIS AND READ LATER:

Why did we choose to move to Ireland? Choosing a location as an expat

March 1, 2018 by Meg 1 Comment

Sometimes (read most times) Rob and I just actually wing life. We jump head first, and figure it out as we go. It happened when we decided to buy a house, when we decided to do a huge eurotrip around a friends wedding, and most recently, when we decided to move to Ireland. We base most of decisions on whether it sounds like fun, and I generally get too excited and start planning it before any of us have a chance to back out. One of the biggest questions we get is, why did we choose to move to Ireland? How do you choose a location to live in as an expat?

I have spoken about it before, but on our honeymoon we had a real heart to heart about what we wanted out of life. What was the next big thing we wanted to do, and whether we were happy where we were right then. Putting aside the most amazing honeymoon we had, were we happy with the life we had built together. At the time, we were both unsettled in our jobs, for different reasons. We were looking for a change, sometimes I think Rob and I crave change. We often search for it. We hate to stand still. Rob has the kind of job that is needed in quite a few interesting places, which actually started the whole conversation about whether we saw ourselves living overseas. He threw out a bunch of places that we could both consider moving to. Places like Switzerland, Amsterdam, Canada, even places like Guernsey and Isle of Man. The options seemed endless, until we started looking into them. Come to think of it, maybe we didn’t completely just wing it.

In the beginning we did ask a few questions before we decided on a place to move to. Things like: How easy is it for us to get into the new country? What visas did we need? Could we both work? Were there job opportunities for us both? Would they let Jack in? How long was the quarantine process? What kind of life would we all have? Was there lots to do and see? Could we travel around easily? Could our family visit with or without visas?

Thinking back, we definitely consider a lot different factors actually, but I do think a large part of moving overseas is taking a giant leap of faith. You can do all the planning and research in the world, and things can still fall upside down. Some things you just cannot predict. Like how long it would take to find a job, or how long the process takes to get a work permit, or finding a good rental home that ticks all your boxes. There are other things you don’t consider. Some that you might not even need to consider, only if they actually do happen. Most don’t think of a place as a place to live but rather they think of the place that they have visited whilst on holiday. Living and paying bills in a place is an entirely different thing to visiting tourist spots and traveling. Figuring out how things work and making friends can be a long and tedious process of trying and trying again.

At the end of the day, we chose Ireland because it ticked a lot of boxes for us: firstly, Rob got offered a job. We knew I would be able to get a spousal work permit , but we didn’t know how long it would take to get sorted out. We knew Jack could move over to Ireland without quarantine, but we didn’t know that finding a pet friendly rental in Dublin city would be so tough. There were a lot of things we knew would work out, and others we never fully realised until we were already here. I think for the most part, you need to have a ‘just winging it’, positive attitude. It saves you from all the anxiety and worry of knowing if things will work out. You also need to have patience, do the research and trust the process will work itself out. And then you have to have acceptance, because maybe it doesn’t work out exactly how you planned, and that’s not something you can always control.

HAVE YOU MOVED OVERSEAS? HOW DID YOU DECIDE ON THE PLACE YOU CHOSE TO MOVE TO?

Live Simply & Travel Slow,

~Meg~

p.p.s. I try post varied content 2 -3 times a month, to be sure you don’t miss out on the new post you should sign up and get all the news straight in your inbox – Sign up now!

PIN THIS AND READ LATER:

How to maximise your time while commuting to and from work

February 12, 2018 by Meg 2 Comments

Commuting to work can be a real time suck, but I have found some great ways to maximise this time that I thought I would share with you. I have been travelling to work on a bus for 6 months now and while I am getting up a bit earlier, I have found some great benefits to maximising the time it takes to commute to work. My round-trip bus route takes a little under 3 hours to do – so I really want to make use of this time. I try to be mindful of this time and really try and make the most of it. Travelling on a bus is slow, but there are benefits to travelling on a bus. For one thing, I don’t get any road rage whilst stuck in traffic – and at least I don’t have to concentrate while on the bus (confession: I have been known to snooze on the bus, which is very unlike me since I usually battle to sleep while travelling).

Here are a few things that I do while I am commuting to and from work every day:

Social Media: Ok so it is not the most productive thing I could be doing, but I use the time sitting on the bus to catch up on social media, I do my posts on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. I join in conversations and chat with other bloggers and my friends. I try use this time so that when I am home, I am not continuously swiping through my phone but rather interacting with my hubby, and spending quality time with him and Jack.
Blogging: thanks to the notes app as well as the WordPress app, I spend some of my time coming up with ideas and re-arranging my blog ideas. Travelling on the bus is a novel thing for me still, since I come from a country where I didn’t use public transport, so I find travelling on the bus often brings up other ideas that I have experienced that are new as an expat living in a foreign country.
Reading: I have a husband who often sends me interesting articles via WhatsApp, so I like to read and catch up on these while I commute. I also subscribe to other blogs, so I like to read the updates and catch up on the news. I have thought about reading a book, but I can’t seem to read for too long while moving in a car, as I get motion sickness – so I can’t read for long periods, just short articles or news seem to be ok.
Podcasts: Podcasts are a great way to pass the time, especially on days where I feel tired, and not in the mood to read or concentrate too heavily. I can switch on a podcast, and they usually take about as long as my bus trip which is great, because I am still a little cautious of walking while listening. I just worry that if I am listening too intently on the podcast, while I am crossing the road – perhaps I might not be concentrating on traffic and cyclists. So I do prefer to listen to podcasts while I am sitting safely on the bus. There are a few podcasts I like to listen to: Estee Lalonde’s The Heart of It; Serial; Russell Brand’s Under the Skin are just a few I really enjoy.
Connecting with friends and family: Commuting to work means I walk a far bit, before I get onto the bus – so it is a great time to leave a voice note, or make a few phone calls. I also use the time sitting on the bus to return WhatsApp’s. I must admit, I am not very good at making phone calls and WhatsApp’s – but I am trying to get better. The hardest part about living so far away from friends and family is that is it does require more effort to keep in touch. So I use the time I have while travelling on the bus to catch up with friends and family. It is amazing how great technology is. Although, I prefer to not be talking on the bus, just because I feel like everyone is listening in on the conversation – that and I don’t like it when I can hear other people talking on the phone on the bus!
Emails: Part of this blog gives people insight into how I moved overseas, and how we live in Ireland, which means that I often get emails asking me questions about moving to Ireland and how they can do the same. So I use the time to reply to my emails, and clear my inbox.

DO YOU COMMUTE TO WORK? HOW DO YOU PASS THE TIME?

Live Simply & Travel Slow,

~Meg~

p.p.s. I try post varied content 2 -3 times a month, to be sure you don’t miss out on the new post you should sign up and get all the news straight in your inbox – Sign up now!

PIN THIS AND READ LATER:

My thoughts on being an outsider in a foreign country

15 Irish words or sayings you need to know

Why did we choose to move to Ireland? Choosing a location as an expat

How to maximise your time while commuting to and from work

Get all the posts by email!

FOLLOW ON INSTAGRAM

Archives

expat

Footer

Follow Me on Social

Get all the posts by email!

FOLLOW ON INSTAGRAM

Archives

Tags