expat life

What NOT to say to an Expat

October 31, 2019 by Meg 1 Comment

These are some of the things I don't think you need to say to an expat - in fact, maybe not say to anyone...

Being an expat has come with a few challenges, I have spoken at length on this blog about how hard it has been for us to move over to Ireland and how it has taken us a while to finally feel settled here. Being an expat is not without its sacrifices, and when we first moved over I wrote a post about the things no one tells you about when you move to a foreign country, but since we have been here for nearly 3 years I feel like a follow up to that post is – the annoying things people say to expats. Trust me, I am well aware that most people don’t mean it the way I take it, and I suppose most just aren’t aware how hard moving countries really is. Also, perhaps some of these statements are a little out of context – but if you want to understand what it must feel like to be an expat, here is a list of things not to say to someone who has moved to a new and foreign country:

You are so lucky – you look like you are always on holiday

Yes, Rob and I make an effort to take weekends away and go on new adventures to explore the country we live in. We did the same back in SA too, perhaps maybe not so frequently (and it was before Insta-stories were a thing, so not as well documented!) but I think living in a new country does pique your interest and love of travel has always been something we have both enjoyed. The fact is, we still both work full time, we have bills to pay just like everyone else – it might look like we are having a great time, but social media shows snippets of our life, and what we choose to share – we don’t always share the loads of washing we do, the monday-friday commute to work, the regular mandane admin we have to do – just like everyone back home has to do.

Things just work better in Ireland, don’t they?

Ah, ever heard of the saying the grass is not always greener on the other side? Ireland might be the Emerald Isle but it certainly is not perfect. Living here has come with its own set of challenges – work permits, immigration appointments, differences in cultures, different ways of doing things, heck even differences in saying things – those are all expat related issues but then there are things like medical care, cost of living, bank services, finding a place to rent that you can actually afford – honestly there are loads of things I think South Africa does better than Ireland. No where in the world is perfect, I wish people would stop comparing.

I need to get out of SA too

If I hear this, I stop listening to anything else afterwards, sorry not sorry. We never left South Africa because we hated living there, or because we felt unsafe, or because we thought ‘SA has gone to shit’, and now the more recent comments have been ‘SA is no place to raise a child’ – genuinely I do not believe any of these statements and it breaks my heart that people feel this way. I fully realise that people have had different experiences to me, but I just won’t tolerate hate and blatant racism – honestly, if you feel that way about the place, then leave – but don’t talk to me about it.

When are you coming back home?

We never left with any solid plans for how long we would go for, or when we would come back. I realise people are being polite and asking if we are happy in Ireland, but it makes me feel like we should have more concrete plans for our life – but nothing in life is certain – who honestly knows where they will be in a years time or ten years time? I miss home a lot, and I guess I feel guilty that I don’t actually know when or if we will ever move back. As much as I don’t want people to assume we left for greener pastures, I don’t want people to assume we will never come back. I just don’t want people to assume stuff about me, when I haven’t fully decided what the heck I am doing with my own life.

You are always going on holiday everywhere else, why don’t you come back and holiday in SA?

Again social media is a fickle thing, you see there is a long back story as to why we have not been able to get back to SA since we moved over. It started with the fact that I was without a job for a while, then Rob lost his job, then we had other commitments to see family who were not in South Africa, then the admin of living in a foreign country caught up to us when we tried to renew Rob’s passport (which is currently taking over 8 months to renew an SA passport through the SA embassy here in Ireland). So ya, it looks like we don’t care to come back, but the fact is, we just can’t right now – side note we got Rob’s passport back in time for me to not be able to fly (#pregoproblems), and now that baby has arrived, well now its a waiting for the kiddo’s passport. But I digress, expat paper work admin is not the only thing holding us back from visiting home… since when do expats have to use their holiday leave to go back home? The one buzzkill of being an expat is that we are always left spending our leave, our money and our time planning to see family – if we lived in SA we probably wouldn’t spend half as much time seeing family as we have since we moved so far away! Sometimes we just want to explore a new place, or go on holiday on our own as a family.

I wish we could afford to live overseas too, must be nice

Living in Ireland is the not the same as being on holiday in Ireland and truthfully cost of living in Ireland is high (rent is ridiculous!) – we sold up everything we owned, came over with not a lot and basically started from scratch. Plenty of people come over with more savings, a whole heap of people move over with less – its not whether you can afford to move overseas, it is whether you can make it work that you can afford to LIVE overseas. It requires getting jobs, and making sacrifices on where you live and what you spend your money on, like most people we live on a budget.

Why haven’t you made more friends yet?

Making friends as adults in a foreign country has been really hard – its a slow process and friendships don’t grow overnight… I don’t think I have ever asked someone back home ‘why they don’t have more friends’ – the fact is, no one really counts how many friends they have, do they?? So why should it ever be a question for an expat?

Yea, we don’t plan to travel to Ireland, it’s not on our list.

I get that for some people, Ireland is not their dream holiday destination. Perhaps you had no interest in coming over before, but if we are good friends (or even family) then maybe you would want to visit and see us? It can’t always be one sided with you expecting us to come back and visit you. Also, I am well aware that for some people, they may not be able to afford to visit us here in Ireland but then I think there are better ways of saying you won’t be coming over to Ireland, rather don’t promise anything, and skip the part where you say ‘it’s just not your vibe’.

You guys must be making so much in euros, right?

I hate to break it to you, but I am also paying loads of bills in euros to live here too! Cost of living and cost of salaries, it’s all relative – no matter where you live.

So that’s you guys, you are settled and staying in Ireland forever?

I fully realise we are incredibly privileged that we were able to make moving to Ireland work for us, but I don’t know if this is permanent or not – and would prefer people refrained from assuming that I have my life perfectly figured out that I know that this is it. I don’t know where I will be in the future, I hate to think we will still be living away from home – so I find the assumption that we are settled in Ireland means we will never live in SA again – it hurts too much to think this way.

Well you chose to be an expat, if things get hard, you chose this life.

While I fully accept that we did decide to move overseas, and become expats – I don’t think it’s fair to dismiss my feelings about being an expat as something that I chose to do. In the same way that I don’t think it’s fair that someone would say something similar to someone who chose to be a parent, or chose to stay where they are… People are quick to judge and dismiss feelings – but the reality is, no one else has lived in your shoes and whilst I might share a lot here and on social media – I don’t share everything so assuming that I am in need of some tough love, when what I really need is someone to just sit with me and hear my feelings. Everyone has a bad day, everyone feels sad or misses home/someone. Homesickness is not a crime that should be disregarded simply because I choose to be in another country, it does not mean that I cannot miss home every now and then.

So there you go, these are some of the things I don’t think you need to say to an expat – in fact, maybe not say to anyone… less judgement and stop with the assumptions that we know better than how people say they are actually feeling. Disclaimer: If you have said one of the above comments to me, please don’t take it personally. Try read it objectively, and hold space for my feelings. I fully realise it might not have meant to offend, or may have been taken out of context. I just don’t think people realise how words can cut deep, or rub you up in the wrong way – perhaps with this post, it will make you more aware to make less judgments and assumptions about someone else’s life… nowhere and no one is perfect, and no one ever has it all figured out all the time. Even though I may not live in my home country, I miss home. I am still a person, I still have feelings and I am always just trying to figure life out as I go.

FELLOW EXPATS, WHAT IS ONE THING THAT YOU HAVE BEEN ASKED/ TOLD THAT ANNOYED YOU?

Unlock the simple life,

~Meg~

p.s. If social media is your thing (snap! It’s my fave too!), you should totally follow me on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook or join my exclusive Facebook Group. And because I seriously am an open book, if you ever want to bounce ideas off me, or just chat and connect send me an email (I really love chatting!)..

p.p.s. I try post varied content 2 -3 times a month, to be sure you don’t miss out on the new post you should sign up and get all the news straight in your inbox – Sign up now!

PIN THIS AND READ LATER:

What you need to know to convert your drivers licence in Ireland

February 28, 2019 by Meg 4 Comments

What you need to know to convert your foreign drivers licence to an irish drivers license in Ireland

Last week I shared on Instagram how I was able to take my foreign drivers license in and exchange it for an Irish drivers license. I had a few questions from some of my followers, that I thought it might be helpful to create this blog post for anyone relocating to Ireland and looking to do the same thing.

STEP ONE: ARE YOU ELIGIBLE TO EXCHANGE YOUR FOREIGN DRIVERS LICENSE.

First you should check to see if you are eligible to exchange your foreign drivers license for an Irish drivers license. South Africa is one of the listed countries that are able to convert your South African drivers license to an Irish drivers license. You can check here to see what other countries are eligible. If you do not have a driver’s licence from one of these listed countries, then you will need to apply for an Irish drivers licence by completing the full Irish driver licensing procedure (i,e learners test, drivers test etc).

You also need to be permanently residing in Ireland for at least 185 days of each year. When you first move over, you don’t need to convert your foreign drivers license straight away, you can use it for the first 12 months. Thereafter you will need to convert it to an irish drivers license. Since I have actually used my drivers in a while, I was able to convert my South African drivers license nearly 2,5 years after I arrived in Ireland.

You will need an Irish PPS number to be able to make the exchange. A PPS number is basically like a social security or ID number that is used for tax purposes and social benefits.

Your foreign drivers license must not have expired. The below info was taken directly from the NDLS website:

If your licence has expired by less than one year or does not have a category start date you will need to provide an original letter of entitlement / driver statement from the relevant licensing authority.
If you do not have your most recent driving licence in your possession, you will need to present an original letter of entitlement / driver statement from the appropriate licensing authority and must complete the lost or stolen licence declaration on the application form and have it witnessed by a member of An Garda Síochána.

STEP TWO: BOOK AN APPONTMEN AT THE NDLS

To exchange your driving licence for an Irish one, you need to make an appointment at the NDLS, which you can do online. I tried to make an appointment booking online however it wasn’t picking up my PPS number, so I ended up going in and waiting in line. When you arrive at the NDLS you can register that you are here for an exchange, you will be given a number and estimated waiting time. I went on a random Tuesday morning, and waited an hour and half before my name was called. I suggest you try book online, as this will save you time.

STEP THREE: WHAT DO YOU NEED TO BRING TO THE APPOINTMENT

Your foreign driving licence
Photographic ID
Proof of your residency entitlement (GNIB and Work Permit)
Evidence of your PPS Number
Proof of address
Completed Eyesight Report Form D502 (I went to Spec Savers and paid EUR20 for the eye test to be done there; you can also ask your GP)
Completed Medical Report Form (if applicable)
Completed Driving licence application Form D401
It cost EUR55 to do the exchange.

Make sure you fill in all the forms in advance and bring all the necessary documents (originals!) with you. At the appointment, they will check your documentation, make copies, take your photograph and ask for your digital signature. They will also get you to sign a form that states they have taken your foreign drivers license from you.

You will be given a receipt, and you will need to wait for your new irish drivers license to be posted to you. Because they need to contact the original licensing authority, this process can take up to 2/3 months. During this time you won’t be able to drive a car.

ARE YOU LOOKING TO RELOCATE TO IRELAND? WHAT INFORMATION WOULD YOU FIND HELPFUL FOR ME TO SHARE HERE ON THE BLOG?

Live Simply & Travel Slow,

~Meg~

p.p.s. I try post varied content 2 -3 times a month, to be sure you don’t miss out on the new post you should sign up and get all the news straight in your inbox – Sign up now!

PIN FOR LATER:

what you need to know to exchange your foreign drivers license for an irish drivers license in ireland.

The Ultimate Checklist to Move Overseas

January 7, 2019 by Meg 4 Comments

The Ultimate Checklist of things you need to do before you can move overseas!

The Ultimate Checklist to Move overseas

I decided to write this ultimate checklist to move overseas to help you identify things you need to do before you move abroad. Is this the year you are moving overseas? It can be overwhelming when you think of all the things you need to do before you move over. Creating a checklist is something we did before we moved, but I have added some tips that we learnt along the way. Truthfully in hindsight there were a lot of things we would do differently if we had the chance to do it all again. We learnt the hard way through trial and error, but hopefully with this checklist to move abroad in hand, things will be easier for you and your family.

BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO MOVE OVERSEAS

Before you start the moving abroad process there are some things you should consider and research. This is a key step and it should not be skipped over. Moving overseas is a big step, it should not be decided on lightly. There will be lots of things you will need to weigh up and decide, and it’s important to get all these areas covered and figured out before you take the giant step forward into becoming an expat and living overseas.

Research the new country. I have spoken about this in previous blog posts, on why we chose to move to Ireland. For us, Ireland ticked a lot of boxes for us. For starters, my husband got a job offer and work permit sorted out before we leave our home country. Secondly, we found out that I would be able to apply for my own work permit, and find a job too. Third, we knew our dog would be able to make the move with us.
Have a job offer before you leave. The reality is looking for a good job takes time, and if you leave it till you are in the new country to find a job you could land yourself in trouble. If you are looking to move to Ireland, then I suggest you figure out if you need a work permit, and research job opportunities in your field.
Get an idea on cost of living. If you managed to find a job then before you accept the job offer, figure out if you will be able to afford to live on the salary they are offering you. Cost of living in Ireland is at an all-time high – rent is scarce and expensive, and cost of living is generally quite high here. I written two posts on cost of living in Ireland; one blog post compares costs between Dublin and Johannesburg which I wrote when we first arrived. More recently, I wrote a post about how to figure out how much you need to earn to live in Dublin.
Save as much as you can. As much as your new job will keep money coming in, there are some unexpected costs to moving overseas. When we first moved over we never fully realised how long it would take for me to find a job and get my work permit sorted out. So we were left with over a year on living on one salary. Thankfully we managed to cut our grocery costs, and we had a small savings to fall back on when times got tough. People often ask how much should they save, and the answer is never going to be a rounded figure – the answer is: save as much as you can, then try save even more than that. We also knew that moving over, our lifestyle would have to change. There will be sacrifices you might need to make when you first over, and we learnt a few tips on how to save money when you first move overseas, maybe these tips will help you too.
Get your important documents updated and filed. Before we moved over we made certified copies of everything. Things like marriage certificates, insurance policies, wills are important to keep and file copies separately. Later on in this post I will suggest a few other documents that are important to get in order before you move overseas.
Update your passport before you leave the country. If your passport is expiring in a year then it’s worth updating it before you leave the country. Rob is in the process of updating his South African passport through the embassy here in Ireland and he has been told it takes 6-7 months to process!! Besides if you want to travel, you will need at least 6 months left of your current passport to be able to visit most countries. Another thing to consider is that if you decide to move to Ireland and you require an Immigration Residence Permit (IRP; formerly called GNIB), you will need to get this yearly, and they will make it valid for as long as your passport is valid. So if you move over with less than a year in your current passport, then your IRP card will be valid for the same time. Save the stress, get your passport updated.
Get your driver’s license updated. The same goes for your driver’s license. Ireland allows certain countries the option to swop out their existing driver’s license for an Irish one. This option is available for South African driver’s license holders. However, if you arrive with an expired driver’s license then you will not be able to swop out your driver’s license. So make your life easier and get it updated before you leave.
Do you own a house? You will need to decide if you will sell your house or put it up for rent. Since we only recently bought our house before we left, and for the fact that we were not sure how long we would be overseas; we decided to rent our home out. We went through a company called Just Letting in South Africa. In all honesty, they are a pretty shit company to work with. But they do make it easier to live here, knowing that there is someone managing our tenant and home back home. I think the reason I get so frustrated with them would be the same with most companies you decide to use – not proactive, slow to respond, plus they were slow to find tenants even though when we first spoke to them they told us that we would have no problems renting out the place. They were filled with lots of promises at how easy the process would be, but in truth it was a long and trying road to finding a tenant.

Right so all of the above took us about a year to research and find jobs etc., we had been planning and talking about the move for a year prior to actually starting the process too. This work can’t be rushed, take your time doing your research and making sure that a move overseas is best for you and your family.

Once you have decided on the move, and you have a job offer and work permit is being processed… then the checklist to move overseas really kicks into full planning and doing all the things mode! Take a deep breath, and let’s dive in.

3 MONTHS BEFORE YOUR MOVE

Book hotels or flights that you might need. If you know when you start date is, then try to arrive a bit before you start work, because you may need some time to find a place to rent. In our case, my husband got a relocation package with his job, which meant that the company paid for him to stay in corporate accommodation for a short time while we looked for a place to rent in Ireland. Not all companies offer this to new employees coming from overseas but it is worth asking about. If that is not something that is available, then you will need to book into a hotel, hostel, or Airbnb when you first move over. Perhaps you have some family or friends you could stay with until you are on your feet. Some people are lucky enough to secure a rental before they arrive overseas but I have found that in Dublin, it is better to be in the country and with a letter from your employer before you start looking for a place to rent.
Check your pet relocation requirements. Although there are no quarantine requirements in Ireland, you do need a blood test and certificate that your pet has no rabies. You can only leave 90 days after this blood has been taken, as well as your pet needs to move over with you (either 5 days before or after you arrive). I have heard of people bringing their pets in later once they are settled but I believe there is a different process if you send your pet over at a later date. I wrote a post about how we moved our pet over to Ireland which covers off some other points you will need to consider.
Find a moving company you like the look of and ask for quotes. And organise a moving date. If you plan to ship over your belongings then you will need to get an idea on what furniture and number of boxes you think you might send over. We sent over 3 boxes and then just 2 suitcases each when we flew over. The 3 boxes we shipped using a company called Seven Seas. They were the most affordable company we could find at the time, and our stuff arrived in perfect condition, barring a plate I didn’t bubble wrap properly. Just a note that we opted for the boxes to be delivered in 3 months (it worked out cheaper) and another thing to consider is that there will be a customs fee you will need to pay when it arrives in your new country (over and above the fee you pay the couriers. Seven Seas did give us an estimate on what this would be so we weren’t surprised 3 months later). Another point I would like to make about sending over belongings, in hindsight we probably didn’t need to ship those 3 boxes. The stuff we shipped ended up not being so essential when it arrived 3 months later and we hadn’t really missed too much of it. Also most rentals here in Ireland come furnished already, and houses here are a little different in terms of size compared to back home – so your furniture might be costly to send over only to find it doesn’t fit in your new home.
Label and pack boxes up with things you won’t need to use until you move. I started this process very eager to pack everything and get rid of the rest; we ended up the last few weeks living with only our camping chairs as seats! Just make sure what you pack away or get rid of, is everything that you won’t actually need for a while. Another good tip is to make a checklist of all packing boxes and what will go in each one. This would have been handy to have on the other side, because when our boxes did arrive, I had forgotten what we had actually sent over!
Put your house on the market if you’re selling it or start finding a tenant. We only started looking for tenants a month before we left and we really left it late because we ended up with an empty house for a few months which was less than ideal.

2 MONTHS BEFORE YOUR MOVE

Depending on your existing work contract, you will need to choose the right time to resign. For us, we wanted to give our employers enough notice that we were leaving, and in the end this notice period worked in our favour because my company asked me to stay on working remotely for a few months which was helpful to keep me busy while we moved over and looked for a job overseas.
Cancel subscriptions and direct debits you won’t carry over with you. If you are leaving the country it is best to cancel these subscriptions while you are still in the country. I had a phone contract that would have costed a lot to cancel, so I just notified them that I want to cancel at the end of the subscription period. We still have our bank accounts open in South Africa, but since we don’t have many debit orders still left (just house stuff), it was easy to see if there was any debit order we forgot to take care of. If you close your accounts, you will need to make sure all your contracts are cancelled beforehand.
Sell or give away items you don’t want to take with you. We sold, donated and threw out most of our stuff. We used it as a great way to declutter and let go of all the stuff that served no purpose for us anymore. We sold most of our stuff online too, which was very easy to do.
Sell your car. We decided to sell our cars online, you can choose to sell it privately yourself. We just found it easier and less hassle to sell it through an agent who handled all the paperwork for us. We used webuycars.co.za and they even arranged for our cars to be picked up as close to our move date which was convenient for us. Another benefit of using webuycars is that they paid the outstanding cash for our car loan direct to the bank, so we didn’t have to stress about transferring that ourselves.
Arrange travel and health insurance for your move. You never know if you might need emergency care when you first arrive, so rather be safe than sorry.
Visit the doctor for a final check-up and arrange for vaccinations if you need them. We didn’t need any vaccinations to move to Ireland, but we went to the dentist, doctor, gynae and Rob got his eyes checked. It’s helpful to get these down before you leave because it will take a while to settle and time to find doctors over in your new country.
Get copies of your medical records for yourselves, children, as well as your pets. This is especially important if you are on any existing medication, so as to show your new doctor overseas.
Get a stock of your prescription medication. Find out what the local names and equivalents are for any prescription medication you or your family are on. Make sure that it will be available in your destination country. If not you will need to arrange to take a supply with you, together with proof of your need for the medication in case you are stopped at customs. I carried 6 months of my own medication with me, together with my script and letter from my doctor. I wasn’t stopped at customs, and just went through without any problems.

1 MONTH BEFORE YOUR MOVE

Begin packing up your home. Normal people can wait till one month before to pack their home, I guess I am not like most people because like I said I started this as soon as we decided we were moving – absolutely zero chill! But really, one month is more than enough time. Especially considering you hopefully won’t need to send over too much stuff.
Make sure your house insurance is due to be cancelled on moving day. This is something some people forget to cancel, or cancel too soon – but if you have household insurance, remember to cancel it on the same day everything is getting picked up to be shipped off.
Contact utility companies and cancel. Or you can change the names on the bill if you’re renting out. We actually kept it in our name, as it is through the body corporate of the complex we lived in. It just made it easier for us to manage this direct with body corporate as we still handle levies etc. with them. These are accounts that you don’t necessarily think about, but it’s good to cancel/ settle before you leave the country.
Pay any bills you have outstanding. The last month before you leave is when we really felt like money was coming off left right and center. We settled all our outstanding bills; we also treated ourselves to dinners out at our favourite restaurants, and met up with friends for last drinks etc… This month really flew by.

1-2 WEEKS BEFORE YOUR MOVE

Get currency for your new country. Because we didn’t close our bank accounts we didn’t have to worry about getting Euros before we left. We took a few over but not too much, the rest we used our SA bank cards in Ireland when we first arrived. It was quick for Rob to open up a bank account in Ireland, because he had a job and needed a place for his salary to be paid into. For me, it took a while longer, so I used my SA card a lot more.
Start packing suitcases. Make sure you have the essentials in your suitcase. You will be living out of these cases for the immediate future until your shipment arrives. I packed extra toiletries and make up etc. as I knew money would be tight when we first got over there, so I made sure I went with a stock to keep me going.
Empty your fridge/freezer. Since we lived with family in the last weeks before we left, empty the fridge/freezer happened earlier for us. However this was still a sensitive point for us. About a month or two before we decided to move over to Ireland, our old fridge died. So we went out and splurged on a nice big fancy fridge and then a month later had to put it up for sale – ouch! That really hurt as you never really make your money back on reselling purchases like that.
Moving Day. If you are shipping over some items, confirm the date they will come collect the boxes. We scheduled this for 3 weeks before my husband left, just because we wanted to stay with family and make the most of our time left in South Africa. Make sure you keep an inventory list for yourself of items you intend to ship over. Also, now is a good time to confirm when you expect items to arrive in your new country.

ON THE DAY OF YOUR MOVE

Triple check the house to ensure nothing is left over. This was a surreal experience for me, walking through our empty home, not knowing what our new home would look like.
Keep your jewellery and important documents with you. We carried these on us in our carry on. Rob had a set, and I had another set of copies as we were flying at different times. If you are the spouse of someone who has a work permit and you are arriving after them, then it’s best to keep the following documentation on you for when you go through passport control: copy of your Spouses work permit, letter from their employer, your marriage certificate.
Say goodbye to everybody. Tears, all the tears when we were at the airport saying our goodbyes to our family. It’s important to remember to take your time and be kind to yourself today. It’s a big deal; there will be a lot of emotions!

AND THAT’S IT, THE ULTIMATE CHECKLIST TO MOVE OVERSEAS! I HOPE THIS MAKES THE MOVE EASIER FOR YOU!

Live Simply & Travel Slow,

~Meg~

p.p.s. I try post varied content 2 -3 times a month, to be sure you don’t miss out on the new post you should sign up and get all the news straight in your inbox – Sign up now!

PIN FOR LATER:

Recap of the Highs and the Lows of 2018

January 1, 2019 by Meg 2 Comments

After all the best nine of 2018 have been posted, and the insta stories that showcase all the highs of 2018 are finally tapped through… I had planned to jump on both bandwagons and share all the highs that made my 2018 great – but then I thought of all the struggles, the tears, the lowest lows and thought that sharing the full picture is more accurate than only glazing over the stress that happened in 2018. It is because of all the shitty moments that the sweet moments were made even sweeter. If I hadn’t gone through all that crap, I would never have savoured all the joy 2018 did eventually bring. So here is my recap – the good, the bad and the out-right stressful life that was this past year.

At the end of 2017 we visited Edinburgh, as a way to end the year on a bit of high since 2017 was the year when literally all the wheels fell off most of our big plans. We went into 2018 hopeful that things would work out, and they did… spoiler alert – it just took 6 months for it to all work out.

In January we headed to Sligo for my birthday, and while it was a great weekend away, my birthday is always a difficult start of the year for me. Partly because I have in the past put heavy expectations on what birthdays should be like, and all the goals I wanted to achieve but didn’t get round to often leave me feeling a bit defeated. 2018’s birthday was no different for me. I was left wondering what I had achieved in 36 years of life, no matter how I look at it, it never feels as though its enough. So while instagram was showing all the exploring we did in Sligo, I was secretly battling with my own demons.

If you live in a country that has winter in February, you know that what is the shortest month of the year, ends up feeling like the longest month – it felt like spring was never going to arrive. And for a while, it didn’t, in fact, the Beast from the East arrived instead and we were snowed in for 3 days. Our first snow day as a family, and Jack’s first experience of snow. It ended up being a great break, and we used the time for loads of walks in the snow together.

In March we had our first visitors for the year, Jane and Nic arrived from SA and we spent time showing them around Dublin. We spent our second St Patrick’s day in Ireland in Dublin. Then after they left, I got a chance to head to Lisbon, Portugal for work – it was a busy 3 days in Lisbon but I still managed to fit so much in and I really was grateful for the trip, even if the stress of work was hard.

We ended the month visiting London and our dear friends, Kristy and Kirsten. They pulled out all the stops with a surprise birthday cake for Rob, tickets to watch an Arsenal match, street art hunting, gin and wine drinking, and just spending time with these two on their couch talking till the wee hours of the morning was so good for both our souls. Honestly, through all the uncertainty that we had going on in our life, their friendship has been there for us no matter what. The infinite voice notes from Kristy throughout the whole year was honestly one of the reasons I think I made it through the year.

April started off well with an interview on a podcast about our life as expats in Ireland – it was kinda surreal that someone wanted to listen to our story. You can listen to it here. But with all the stress that followed us from 2017 still left uncertain, I hit breaking point and suffered my first of many panic attacks this year. Anxiety and stress all bubbled to the surface and I was left making some heavy decisions about who my friends were, and how I planned to recover and get back up. I am grateful that looking back, I can see that I did eventually get back up – but at the time, April was honestly one of the hardest months for me. At the end of this month we decided to make a few changes, and started looking at moving out of the city and somewhere closer for me to travel to work.

At the beginning of May we visited more friends in the UK, Derek and Candi and they showed us around their new home. We visited a lot of places with them including Manchester, Liverpool, Chester, York and even dipped into Wales for a day.

Even though we had no idea what was happening with our expat lives, we decided to take a huge risk and move to our dream home out of the city – it was a move that at the time seemed crazy to do, since we had no idea what the future had in store for us but it is one I am happy we made because in the end, things did work out and this new home has meant new friendships have blossomed and we have better life balance and a place that we can truly feel at home.

In fact things worked out just 2 weeks after we had moved in… Rob’s work permit came through and it meant that he could start his new job. We found this out the day we landed in Glasgow, and were about to start our road trip through Scottish Highlands to Inverness. It was the relief we needed to truly enjoy our second trip to Scotland. Scotland will always hold a special place in my heart because of this. Looking back we went to Edinburgh in December 2017 unsure if it would be our last trip abroad, and ended up opening the future for us and extending our stay indefinitely in June 2018. Life really does have a way of working out in the end.

As a way to start anew, in July we did a road trip just the three of us to explore West Cork and the Beara Peninsula. It’s a part of the country that is so wild and untamed, possibly one of my favourite trips of all time. I also started yoga twice a week, and it had life changing effects to my mental head space.

In August, we saw our family after nearly 2 years after leaving South Africa, Rob’s parents came to visit us. We spent just under two weeks doing an epic Irish road trip starting with a trip up to Northern Ireland visiting places like Belfast, Giant’s Causeway, Castlerock, Coleraine, Derry, and ending the North of Ireland adventure in my now favourite visited county, county Donegal.

We continued the Irish roadtrip with Rob’s parents into September, this time heading to Leitrim, then heading south to Cobh, Waterford, then Dungarvan, then along the copper coast, all the way down to Kinsale. September saw the final end to our immigration stress, with my work permit renewal being processed after 15 weeks of waiting.

In October I decided to invest in myself, and I started the unselfishly me 8 week course. It instilled some more good habits like listening to inspiring podcasts, journaling, and daily meditation. The course uncovered a lot of what I had failed to work through mentally in previous months and I learnt a lot about myself and the kind of life I want to live. Including letting go of toxic relationships and forgiving myself. I did a lot soul-searching and honestly can’t recommend meditation or this self love course enough. At the end of October we did a road trip as a family and explored Hook Peninsula, in Wexford. Another great part of the country, even though this trip was slightly less run around and see all the things – we perfected the art of slow travel and fully rested that long weekend. We came home feeling recharged and rested.

In November I had to travel to Killarney for a work event, Rob joined me and we had a great trip with my work friends. For the rest of the month I continued to practice yoga, journal, meditate and finally felt the anxiety and panic attacks ease a bit. I am learning that its best to take life day by day and to stop worrying about the future so much, rather focus on being present and mindful in the moment.

We ended 2018 with a trip of a lifetime visiting my whole family in Mauritius. My brother and his family live in Mauritius and my parents made the trip out from South Africa so that we could all spend Christmas together as a family. It was a lot of sun, sea, drinks, swimming with dolphins, running and screaming with my niece and nephew, simple moments with my family in their home, pushing my niece and nephew on the swing, playing hide and seek, cuddles, tears, laughter… it was indescribable all the joy and sadness I felt in that holiday. The joy of spending time with family and loved ones, and the sadness in not knowing when the next time will be.

So there you have it. The highs and the very lows of 2018. And when I look at it all set out in this blog post – I realise how much we have done; we visited 6 countries and explored 21 of 32 counties in Ireland. We did a lot of local travel and 2019 will be no different – we plan to see more of this beautiful country we are fortunate enough to live in. We plan to continue to face the struggles and admin that surrounds living away from home and in a foreign country – hopefully with a little more grace, and with a lot of deep breaths.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, WISHING YOU AND YOURS THE VERY BEST IN 2019!

Live Simply & Travel Slow,

~Meg~

p.p.s. I try post varied content 2 -3 times a month, to be sure you don’t miss out on the new post you should sign up and get all the news straight in your inbox – Sign up now!

PIN FOR LATER: