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My thoughts on being an outsider in a foreign country

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Sometimes it feels like there is a never ending amount of forms to be filled in, papers to be shuffled, ticking away on keyboards, substantiating evidence, stamping stamps, waiting around for appointments to become available, answers to be given, and sign off to be granted for us to stay and work in a foreign country. And those are sometimes not even the most challenging parts of being an expat.Sometimes it feels like there is a never ending amount of forms to be filled in, papers to be shuffled, ticking away on keyboards, substantiating evidence, stamping stamps, waiting around for appointments to become available, answers to be given, and sign off to be granted for us to stay and work in a foreign country. And those are sometimes not even the most challenging parts of being an expat. The hurdles and admin can seem endless, but at times, the people can seem cold and unsympathetic. You can sometimes be left feeling incredibly alone and isolated and so very far away from home, somewhere where nothing is familiar and that can be the most unsettling feeling.

*Related Post: Read the things no one talks about when you move to a new country*

It can be an incredibly humbling experience when you realise that you are not as interesting and as unique as you thought you were. You are just foreign. The benefit to being an expat is that this experience opens your eyes up to this fact. The fact is that people might speak the same language in other countries, but different countries still have different cultures. It is sometimes very hard to know without fully immersing yourself in a new culture, and asking questions and learning and being respectful that your way might not be the way that others are used to.

The simple fact is that as an expat, sometimes you are the only one aware of all these differences, and furthermore, sometimes you as the foreigner, are the only one willing to compromise and learn from the experience. For the most part you are surrounded by people that feel safe, that are home, and that aren’t different – and it can be hard for those people to even become self aware that perhaps the foreign person feels isolated and alone.

I sometimes can be in crowded room, filled with laughter, and all the craic in the world – and yet feel so homesick, and alone. I often have internal dialogues with myself, where I relate to what is happening around me, to how it would be different in South Africa. I have these thoughts internally, because in some instances, not everyone wants to have a ‘lesson’ in South Africanism, and what its like back in my country. It might sound like people are insensitive to my feelings, but I think it is sometimes just ignorance of the vast differences between our cultures. And really why should they learn about South Africa – they didn’t choose to move away from home.

Being an expat, I have learnt patience, patience in waiting for processes to be followed and forms to be submitted, and all the bureaucracy that comes with living in a foreign country. But I have also learnt to be patient with people, patiently waiting for the right time to speak out, and share my stories of home and what it feels like to be so far away from home.

It is difficult to put into words how I am feeling, but this week has been a hard week for me emotionally. I can’t seem to put my finger on what is exactly bothering me, but then I realised what it was. I miss being home, I miss being normal, I miss blending into being part of the crowd, I miss being part of the majority. I miss being among people who might not care about you personally, but where you still feel you fit in and you don’t have to explain why so many things are different here to what they are like back home. The most upsetting part of this week is that I am not sure this feeling will ever fully go away. Because at the heart of the matter, no matter how long I stay away, I don’t want to lose my South Africanism, I don’t want to blend in. I want to be me, the person who I have always been – and so this feeling of being an outsider might never go away. And while I have learnt so much, and I am continually learning about who I am, and how big the world really is – perhaps there is a way for me to rub off some of me here? It is just another part of the process of being an expat I am yet to work out how to solve.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AN OUTSIDER IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY – HOW DID YOU EASE THE FEELING?

Live Simply & Travel Slow,

~Meg~

p.s. If social media is your thing (snap! It’s my fave too!), you should totally follow me on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook or join my exclusive Facebook Group. And because I seriously am an open book, if you ever want to bounce ideas off me, or just chat and connect send me an email (I really love chatting!)..

p.p.s. I try post varied content 2 -3 times a month, to be sure you don’t miss out on the new post you should sign up and get all the news straight in your inbox – Sign up now!

PIN THIS AND READ LATER:

Sometimes it feels like there is a never ending amount of forms to be filled in, papers to be shuffled, ticking away on keyboards, substantiating evidence, stamping stamps, waiting around for appointments to become available, answers to be given, and sign off to be granted for us to stay and work in a foreign country. And those are sometimes not even the most challenging parts of being an expat.

15 Irish words or sayings you need to know

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A large part of moving abroad is learning more about how other people live, and how to communicate with people is how we all form connections and make friends. Here are some Irish sayings and words you need to know if you plan on living in Ireland long term.Rob and I have been living here for nearly 18 months, and over this time we have learnt a lot about living in Ireland, the way things work, and a large part of moving abroad is learning more about the people, and how to communicate with people is how we all form connections and make friends. Making connections with people helps you integrate into your new life overseas. It is key to be able to ‘fit in’ in your new country, if you don’t feel as though you belong, then it is unlikely that you will stay long term.

One of the reasons we decided to move to Ireland was because we thought language would not be a hurdle since we both speak English. We thought Irish would be similar to South Africans, for example we both have a similar sense of humour. However, one of the major differences between us is the terminology and phrases we both use – perhaps some of these Irish sayings will be similar to your own country, but these are not sayings we are not use to hearing back in South Africa.

  1. LIKE. I think the Irish are the original ‘likers’. The Irish folk we have met use the word ‘like’ a lot. It reminds me of a guy I knew years ago, who used to point out how many times I said ‘um’ – he was a real jerk, but he had a point, I did say um a lot back then. It makes me think how he would hate to be around the Irish because they say like ten times more than I ever said ‘um’. OK, so maybe this is used back home too, but for the Irish, they use it a little differently, it is usually placed at the end of sentences. For example, ‘she is crazy, like’; ‘It was some good craic, like’. These sentences just don’t sound the same coming out of anyone else. But with the Irish it feels like an accentuation to the story, and it kind of just works, or maybe I am just getting used to it.
  2. CRAIC. Another very popular word used by the Irish is ‘Craic’; pronounced ‘crack’. It is used to ask how things are going, what is the vibe like, or if something is good fun. For example: ‘What’s the craic? Ah last night was good craic. Are you up for a bit of craic?’ Second to like, it is one of the most used words in Ireland, I reckon. So it is a handy one to know, especially if you were like me, and thought they were looking to buy drugs.
  3. SHORTEN WORDS. The Irish like to create their own slang by cutting down words and add an O, words like devo, and morto are commonly used – perhaps more with younger teenage girls.
  4. GRAND. DELIGHTED. CLASS. Grand is used a lot, in the same way that South Africans use the word ‘lekker’. Some Irish will go so far as to say ‘Ah it is grand so’ meaning it is lekker or nice just like that. Everything can be grand but it is usually referred to when something is awesome, great or just OK.  Delighted is used when they would ‘love to’, for example ‘I would be delighted’ and Class refers to when something is top-notch, it was class.
  5. GAS. When something is hilarious or funny or just fun – it is gas.
  6. YE. This is probably a bit of old English, but it is used instead of you, for example: what are ye doing here like? Or ‘where are ye off to?’ I kind of like this one, but it never really sounds right in coming out of my voice.
  7. SWEAR WORDS. Shite instead of Shit, Feck instead of Fuck. In some ways, they swear a bit more than us, but I find they sound so much more polite when they swear than when I do! Maybe it’s the accent thing but they will say shite, or feck as an adjective in most sentences and it never comes off as being totally rude.
  8. YOKE. This is another word for something you don’t know what to call it, like thingamajig; or that thing, Irish folk will call it a yoke.
  9. BOLD. Instead of saying someone is being cocky or cheeky; you say that they are being bold. It is often used with kids, i.e. ‘Johnny is being so bold’.
  10. COP ON. Get with the program, Catch a wakeup call; you just need to cop on. I have no idea how this even came to be a saying, but it is often used in banter, when you are talking to someone who does not fully understand what you are saying – you need to ‘cop the feck on’.
  11. YOUR MAN. This is not related to your actual man, or your husband or boyfriend. But rather refers to ‘some guy’, used in a sentence like this: ‘I was at Tesco and your man behind the counter said they were having a sale’. It is possibly the most bizarre one out of them all, and it feels so out of place that I don’t think this will ever be something I will be able to say without laughing at myself.
  12. YOU ARE VERY WELCOME. This is a saying that is used as a bit of a welcome introduction. Irish are very polite and will always start a tour or speech with ‘you are very welcome’. It is one of my favourite terms used by the Irish, they are very welcoming.
  13. NO BOTHER. Probably quite a common saying but South Africans say ‘no worries’ about as much as Irish folk say ‘it is no bother’, meaning that something is no trouble at all.
  14. YOU MIGHT WANT TO. This actually refers to something that you probably should do. Irish are very polite, probably a little too much. South Africans are often seen as being too direct or blunt, because we will just say it like it is. Whereas Irish will say ‘you might want to’ in an effort to be a bit more polite than coming right out and saying ‘just do it my way’. They say it in a way that you might have a choice, but really it is more like a strong suggestion.
  15. LOOK COME HERE. Rob never understood what I meant when I said that a lot of my Irish colleagues will say this when they are on the phone. It is a sentence that runs off their tongue so quickly, so every time I said it to him, he said he had never heard it before. But once he heard someone in his own office saying – you just can’t un-hear it. They will usually say it when they when they are chasing up a request or trying to get information. In the same way that we might say ‘ah ya know what’; they will say ‘ah sure look come here’. The next time you are in an open plan office, see if you can hear it too.

WHAT IRISH SAYINGS HAVE YOU NOTICED? ANYTHING I MISSED OFF THE LIST?

Live Simply & Travel Slow,

~Meg~

p.s. If social media is your thing (snap! It’s my fave too!), you should totally follow me on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook or join my exclusive Facebook Group. And because I seriously am an open book, if you ever want to bounce ideas off me, or just chat and connect send me an email (I really love chatting!)..

p.p.s. I try post varied content 2 -3 times a month, to be sure you don’t miss out on the new post you should sign up and get all the news straight in your inbox – Sign up now!

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A large part of moving abroad is learning more about how other people live, and how to communicate with people is how we all form connections and make friends. Here are some Irish sayings and words you need to know if you plan on living in Ireland long term.

How to Declutter and Organise Your Home Like a Minimalist

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If you are looking to get rid of the clutter, live with less and keep your home organized like a minimalist, then I have some tips for you.

We started this “journey to less” last year when we packed up our house, sold most of our things online and moved to Ireland. I guess in some ways the best way to cut down and really organise your home is to move countries. If you are still looking to get rid of the clutter, live with less and keep your home organized like a minimalist, then I have some tips for you.

Looking to get rid of the clutter? Keep your home organized like a minimalist, with these tips Click To Tweet

The most obvious tip is that you need to start somewhere. There are tons of challenges or steps you can follow online, but just start in one room or aspect of your life and work your way through. The sooner you start, the sooner it will feel so overwhelming. Waiting for the right time to sort things out is the height of procrastination, trust me I get that but just start and slowly you will start seeing the space open up. Just starting somewhere creates this knock-on effect where you see results so you feel motivated to keep going.

With that in mind, it’s very hard to get it all done in one day, so be patient with yourself – it’s an ongoing process. If you do a little bit each day, it becomes manageable. Try focus on one room at time, and don’t move on until you are happy with the look of it.

The key is to keep the mission of decluttering top of mind. So replace things, and avoid adding more into your home without acknowledging that you are bringing more into the home. If you are always buying things and adding to your home that is when starts to feel overwhelming. Try work with what you have before you bring more stuff into your home.

Find a home for everything. The best way to beat that overwhelmed feeling of drowning in clutter is to keep things in their place. Once you finish using something, make sure you put it back in the same place every time. If everything has a home or a space, you will clearly see if you have space to add anything more.

Try limiting the urge to buy in bulk or stock up on things that will take you months to use up. It’s not really saving if you don’t actually need it. You will end up storing it in the cupboard, forget you have it, and never use it.

Actually use and enjoy your things. We talked about this the other day on my Facebook group, don’t save the candles for a special occasion, or let the fancy glasses gather dust. Why live with things that you just store away and never use? Lately I have been making a conscious effort to use the things we have, give the items in your home a purpose or a reason to hold onto them and if they don’t spark joy or make you happy – then why are you hanging onto them?

Get into the habit of straightening up your home for 5 minutes each day – make your bed, clear your counters, pack away the things you are finished using. I find that if I start my day with my bed made and my room tidied, I feel far lighter and I am generally more productive for the rest of the day.

These are just some of the things that I do each day to stay on top of the clutter. Don’t think that it will happen overnight and be kind to yourself as you go through this journey. If you focus on your reasons why you want to get rid of the clutter – it makes the experiencing of organising your home far more enjoyable. It is also important to remember that being a minimalist is not about limiting yourself, and have zero items. It is about being conscious about what you spend your time on. If you are forever cleaning and tidying a messy home, or if you are always feeling crowded by things – trust me once you let go and open up your home, you will enjoy being in your home. So light the candles; use the fancy bubble bath, pour a glass of that good wine – you don’t need a special occasion to enjoy your home. Make your home your sanctuary by clearing it of things that don’t spark joy for you.

And if you are looking for a challenge to get you started, why not join me in a #minsgame created by The Minimalists. The rules of the game are simple: on day 1 remove one thing from your home; day 2 you remove two things and so on; all the way to day 30 where you need to throw out 30 items. Items can be big or small; you can throw out in the trash, donate, give or sell but it has to be out your house by the end of that day. I am going to start the challenge tomorrow; you can follow along on my Facebook page or in my Instagram stories.

JOIN ME; LET’S GET RID OF THE CLUTTER! SO WHO IS WITH ME?

Unlock the simple life,

~Meg~

p.s. If social media is your thing (snap! It’s my fave too!), you should totally follow me on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, or join my exclusive Facebook Group. And because I seriously am an open book, if you ever want to bounce ideas off me, or just chat and connect send me an email (I really love chatting!).

p.p.s. I try post varied content 2-3 times a week; I am also setting up exclusive challenges; guides and templates that I will only share with my subscribers, so be sure to sign up and get all the news straight in your inbox! Sign up now!

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If you are looking to get rid of the clutter, live with less and keep your home organized like a minimalist, then I have some tips for you.

6 frugal ways to live off one income

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6 frugal ways to live off one income, and the hidden benefits you find when you do live off one salary.It has nearly been a month back at work for me, and with that comes the excitement of my first paycheck in 5 months. But while the experience of how we lived off one income is still fresh in mind, I thought it was important to share it with you. Firstly, to show that it can be done, secondly to share the hidden benefits we got from doing it, and thirdly to share our game plan for how we plan to now live with 2 incomes going forward.

First a bit of a disclaimer: I know that talking about money and finances is a bit of a hush hush conversation. No one likes to really talk about it. It is considered rude to ask how much people earn, although I am sure we all have secret thoughts imagining (or assuming!) what we think others are earning. I do think that talking about money and learning about budgeting is the number one key life lesson we all need to learn. So, while I am not going to tell you actual numbers and figures to what our salaries look like, I do think the more important part is the method, and how we managed to live off one income for 5 months (and still do fun things!).  I hope by me talking about our experience, it can help someone else who may be going through something similar (either by their own choice, or not).

and now, 6 frugal ways we lived off one income:

  1. Have a clear budget. If this is the only sentence you read out of this whole post, it needs to be this: The only way you can have a clear budget is if you are super honest with yourself Click To Tweet. List all your expenses, and figure out what you can and can’t afford given what you earn.
  2. Cut out the non-essentials. If your expenses are more than what you earn – something must be cut. Cancel some of your debit orders like gym contracts, and eating out, or try go on lower phone package. Read my post on 15 ways to save money.
  3. Keep saving. After you have cut down the non-essentials, hopefully this gives you a bit of wiggle room. It is important not to just try spending every cent of your income every month. Try save a little each month, for the months where you truly will need it.
  4. Where possible, use cash. I find that what worked best for us was to draw cash when we needed something, so that when we were at the store, we were forced to stick to what we had in our wallet. One of the biggest ways to over spend is to swipe your card and not track where that money is going.
  5. Learn to say no to things you can’t afford or don’t want to want to spend money on. Rob and I are serious people-pleasers. We have a hard time saying no to friends, and suffer badly from what young kids call FOMO (fear of missing out). But having one income meant that we were forced to learn to say no. And you know what? We didn’t lose any friends because of it! You will find that when you are honest with yourself and those around you, more people will relate to not having the funds to do absolutely everything. Your true friends will understand why you must say no sometimes, as hard as it is at the time.
  6. Get creative on how to get out of the house. I loved this part, I loved the challenge in finding free events to go to, and thinking up ways to still get out us out of the house and still exploring. It costs nothing to go for a walk, or take your sandwich outside and have a picnic in a park. We also learnt that it was cheaper to grab a coffee or share something small than eating a full meal or drinking loads of rounds.

The hidden benefits we found to living off one income:

  • One of the things you need to remember is that sometimes it is cheaper for one person to stay at home, than the cost for both of you to travel to work each day, lunches, and coffees out with the team etc. all add up. Also having one person at home means that they can manage the household tasks like cooking, cleaning, laundry and walking the dog.
  • I also learnt that I love finding bargains and getting creative with how to cut our costs even more. Even though we were on a tight budget with no line item for entertainment, I still found ways to save a little each week so that I could meet a friend for coffee, or we could afford to grab a donut or explore a bit of Dublin.
  • A side benefit to one income meant that we walked or cycled more, so we still got a bit of exercise in, to save on transport costs! Although I will admit that our diet has not been the healthiest, it is sometimes cheaper to eat bad food than it is to buy all organic, super healthy foods.
  • With one person managing the home and one person earning the income, it meant that when we were both together, we had more time to spend together and chill. Our weekends were completely free from admin and chores.
  • Living off one salary required us to delve deeply into how we were living previously, and forced us to make some hard decisions that ultimately set us on a better path going forward. In a lot of ways, I can truly say we are grateful for the learnings living off one income has given us. I am even more determined that our decisions to declutter, cut back or down on things that we don’t want to spend money on, have lead us to see the true value of our life lies not in being rich with money, but in learning how best to work with what you have. The greatest learning was figuring out that as a couple, we have gone from a his and hers view of money to our money and how we spend it is now a team decision. I know that that is not how some couples work their finances, and I know that other methods work for different fold, but it works for us.

So, what is the game plan now that we have 2 incomes coming in?

Friends can I just say how excited I am that we have travelled this journey to learning how to live frugally, live with less, and how to spend our money wisely. Going forward we want to take these lessons and keep doing what we have been doing. It means that now we will have a bit extra that will go into savings and investments, and most importantly travel. But for the most part, I don’t want our lives to change that much. I want to still get into a better work/life routine. We have new challenges we need to face; things like figuring out how to manage the household admin, commuting to work, how to get rid of our outstanding debt, save more and still get some travel and fun in. I can only think that had we not had this experience of living off one income for 5 months, we would not be able to make the best decisions now that we have two incomes. Life has a funny way of working things out, and gives you challenges you can learn and grow from can only help you in the long run. At the very least we have learnt that we can live off one salary, but we are incredibly grateful that we don’t have to any more.

HAVE YOU LIVED OFF ONE INCOME – ANY TIPS TO SHARE?

Unlock the simple life,

~Meg~

p.s. If social media is your thing (snap! It’s my fave too!), you should totally follow me on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, or join my exclusive Facebook Group. And because I seriously am an open book, if you ever want to bounce ideas off me, or just chat and connect send me an email (I really love chatting!).

p.p.s. I try post varied content 2-3 times a week; I am also setting up exclusive challenges; guides and templates that I will only share with my subscribers, so be sure to sign up and get all the news straight in your inbox! Sign up now!

PIN THIS AND READ LATER:

6 frugal ways to live off one income, and the hidden benefits you find when you do live off one salary.

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